with On-On / Triple-On on-site - BRING CHAIRS
New improved run directions, for briter whiter teeth
(old directions still work but make you stink)
Venue: Kota Puteri (back-end of Batu Arang)
Hare: Ben Kulen
Scribe: Nick Bloy
Comic: Clancie Liew
New Improved Directions:
Get onto the Woody Guthrie Corridor Expressway (E35) from one end or the other: either via the NKVE (Nashville - Kentucky - Virginia Expressway) exit 103 near Shah Alam, or the North-South Civil War Highway exit 115, between Sungei Buloh and Rawang.
Go along the Guthrie Corridor (i.e. towards Rawang if coming from Shah Alam, or vice versa), and take exit 3503 onto the Kuala Selangor road (Federal Route 54).
After toll, stay to the right, sign-posted for K. Selangor.
Turn right at light (remember that Americans are always allowed to turn right at a red light).
Travel ~14km (9 miles, or 47,520 feet) and turn right just before km marker “K S’gor 24”. Sign posted for Kota Puteri (this is the second right turn).
Pass guard house and turn left after 700m (750 yards, 2250 feet).
Follow the road to T junction, turn right to run site.
Old directions for the more traditional non-Woody-Guthrie fans who want to see more of Selangor at a snail's pace (well below 55mph):
Take the North South Highway North and exit at the Rawang toll. Zero your trip meter and strap in tight for one helluva ride!
0.2 turn left towards Batu Arang and get on your C.B. radio to chat to some truckers
3.2 pass the Chin Hiong restaurant on your right - where's Charlie Chan when you need him?
4.7 The road bends to the right - squeal round the corner like Starsky and Hutch
5.1 Turn left towards Bandar Tasik Puteri - that's a big ten-four, rubber duck, we got us a convoy of Malaysian drivers ahead
Long straight - forget where you are and drive at high speed on the wrong (= right) side of the road, causing oncoming traffic to swerve in all directions.
8.9 Speed bump - take it at full speed, like the Dukes of Hazzard, and fly...
10.5 Two speed bumps - woo hoo!
11.3 Sharp right-hand bend - best to use your hand-brake for this turn
12.9 Security gate barrier (sign says Batu Arang 1km) - pretend you're the A-Team and crash straight through it while shooting ineffectually at bad guys with 1980's permed hair
13.9 Turn left towards Ijok (what kind of crazy gook name is that?)
14.4 Turn right, mounting the sidewalk for a while
14.5 Turn left towards Taman Agrotechnology, fish-tailing all over the road
17.6 Turn right, with your foot hard down on the gas
18.8 Turn right then drive to runsite at 19.6 before skidding to a halt and climbing out of your side window because the General Lee's doors are welded shut
Expect a wild Can-Am party - Yee-hah!
AND DON'T FORGET YOUR CHAIRS!
(unless you're a cowboy and are bringing a horse to sit on)