The day finally arrived. Forrest Gump dies and goes to
Heaven.
He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself.
However, the gates are closed and Forrest approaches
the Gatekeepeer.
St. Peter says, "Well, Forrest, it's certainly good to
see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must tell
you, though, that the place is filling up fast, and
we've been administering an entrance examination for
everyone. The test is short, but you have to pass it
before you can get into Heaven."
Forrest responds,
"It shor is good to be here, St. Peter, sir. But
nobody ever tolt me about any entrance exam. Shor hope
the test ain't too hard; life was a big enough test as
it was."
St. Peter goes on, "Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test
is only three questions, and they are:
First: What two days of the week begin
with! the letter T?
Second: How many seconds are there in a
year?
Third: What is God's first name?"
Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He returns
the next day and sees St. Peter who waves him up and
says,
"Now that you have had a chance to think the questions
over, tell me your answers."
Forrest says, "Well,the first one -- which two days in
the week begin with the letter "T"? Shucks, that one's
easy. That'd
be Today and Tomorrow.
The Saint's eyes open wide and he exclaims, "Forrest,
that's not what I was thinking, but you do have a
point, and I guess I
didn't specify, so I'll give you credit for that
answer. How about the next one?" asks St. Peter. "How
many seconds in a year?"
Now that one's harder," says Forrest, "but I thunk and
thunk about that and I guess the only answer can be
twelve."
Astounded, St. Peter says, "Twelve? Twelve!? Forrest,
how in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve
seconds in a year?"
Forrest says "Shucks, there's gotta be twelve: January
2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd..."
"Hold it, " interrupts St. Peter. "I see where you're
going with this, and I see your point, though that
wasn't quite what I
had in mind.....but I'll have to give you credit for
that one, too. Let's go on with the third and final
question. Can you tell me God's first name"?
"Sure" Forrest replied, "its Andy."
"Andy?!" exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St.
Peter. "Ok, I can understand how you came up with
your answers to my
first two questions, but just`how in the world did
you come up with the name Andy as the first name of
God?"
"Shucks, that was the easiest one of all," Forrest
replied. "I learnt it from the song. "ANDY WALKS WITH
ME, ANDY TALKS WITH
ME, ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN. . "
St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates and said: "Run
Forrest, run."