slightly improved...
--
Phua Chu Kang was asked to make a sentence using 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 and 10. Not only did he do it 1 to 10, he did it again from 10 back to 1.
This is what he came up with......
"1 day I go 2 climb up a 3 outside a house to peep. But the people saw me, so I panic and 4 down. The man rush out and wanted to 5 with me. I run until I fall 6 and throw up. So I go into 7 eleven and grab some 8 to throw at him. Then I took a 9 and try to stab him. 10 God he run away. So, I put the 9 back and pay for the 8 and left 7 eleven. Next day, I call my boss and say I am 6. He said 5, tomorrow also no need to come back 4 work. He also ask me to climb a 3 and jump down. I don't understand, I so nice 2 him but I dont know what he 1".
A lesson to all employees who work with rude customers ...
Indeed, an award should go to the Virgin Airlines gate attendant in Sydney some months ago for being smart and funny, while making her point, when confronted with a passenger who probably deserved to fly as cargo.
A crowded Virgin flight was cancelled after some problems were detected on the plane. A single attendant was re-booking a long line of inconvenienced travellers. Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket down on the counter and said, "I HAVE to be on this flight and it HAS to be FIRST CLASS".
The attendant replied, "I'm sorry sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these people first, and I'm sure we'll be able to work something out." The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?"
Without hesitating, the attendant smiled and grabbed her public address microphone: "May I have your attention please, may I have your attention please," she began - her voice heard clearly throughout the terminal.
"We have a passenger here at Gate 14 WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to Gate 14." With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at the Virgin attendant, gritted his teeth and said, "F... You!"
Without flinching, she smiled and said, "I'm sorry, sir, but you'll have to get in line for that too."
There were three old black ladies getting ready to take a plane across the ocean.
The first lady said, "I don't know bout y'all, but I'm gunna wear mesome hot pink panties beefo I gets on dat plane."< BR>
"Why you gonna wear dem fo?" the other two asked.
The first replied, "Cause, if dat plane goes down and I'm out dare laying butt-up in a conefield, dey gonna find me first."
The second lady said, "Well, I'm a-gonna wear me some flooresant orange panties."
"Why you gonna wear dem?" the others asked.
The second lady answered, "Cause if dis hareplane is goin' down and floating butt-up in the oshun, dey can see me first."
The third old lady says, "Well, I'm not going to wear any panties....." "What? No panties?" the others asked in disbelief.
"Dat's right, you heard me. I'm not wearing any panties," the third lady said, cause if dis plane goes down, honey dey always look for da black box first."