Old oilfield man back from Thailand with his new Thai bride.

Lying in bed, the Thai bride is playing with his manhood, slowly up and down, and the old boy says, "You must love that, you haven't left it alone, since we got back."

The bride replied, "Not really, I just miss mine."

At a recent U2 concert in Glasgow, Scotland, he asked the audience for total quiet.

Then in the silence, he started to slowly clap his hands, once every few seconds. Holding the audience in total silence, he said into the microphone, "Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies."

From the front of the crowd a voice with a broad Scottish brogue pierced the quiet...

"Well, f---kin stop doing it then, ya evil bastard!"

Bogus story from the book "Options" by Fake Steve Jobs.
Joke actually derived from a video at this site.

I know, we need one in Malay/Chinese/Tamil too;-)

found on ebay

101 things you'll never hear Sean Connery say...