Run 1641 - August 23 2008

Hare: Robin Cox
Co-Hares: Hugh and Ton
Venue: Lembah Beringin
Scribe: Klaus Gehlhaar

The runners arrived early, as we have been warned of roadblocks. The only roadblocks I noticed were the usual malaysian drivers sticking to the speed limit! Some were smart enough to go to the makan place instead of standing around for hours in the blistering heat. There was a rare event! I´m not talking pink elefants or stuff like that. No, the GM was present. I took a clear look at him, as I forgot how he looked. I shouldn´t have done that! It´s not a pretty sight!

The rain came and the run started. Took ages to break the first check, so I just buggered off going straight. After a while I came to a long falsie and from that moment on I was most of the time a FRB! It pays to have a sick mind and think like the hares!

Beer after the run was cold and good as usual. Bary passed out nearly outdated chips. Some were worried, but beeing good hashers they ate it anyway. Let´s be honest. They would have eaten the stuff if it was outdated over a year, having a green color and a nice fur on it.

DownDowns started with the GM never beeing here, but Tommy was corrected as the GM was here at the HashChallenge! Then the English got one because they brought the lousy weather from their uninhabitable island. Tommy had a pinkeye and was named Peeping Tommy”. As it got colder people headed off to the Equatorial in Rawang to have OnOn.

Food came quick for the frozen runners. Aircons and fans were switched off immediately to avoid freezing to death. DownDowns from Hugh for people wearing condoms in the restaurant, Sem getting a downdown for calling Aileen a fat ass. Virgins and visitors got their beer too. Noticed that one of the virgins was wearing a weddingdress – defenetly a new outfit and it raised the standard for the Hashers! More nominations were coming in, but I was busy drinking my beer. Food was free because I wanted to charge you 50 RM a head for ruining my weekends with pathetic runs and miserable excuses for shortcuts. But then I thought if I ever see one of you again, I will have to hear to the whining how expensive the OnOn was and so on….. I didn´t need that in the future! TripleOn was at the backyard.
Have fun
Klaus

Run 1639 - August 09 2008

Hare: Reiko Ashida
Co-Hare: Alister Beck
Venue: Ulu Yam/Batang Kali Estate Football Field
Scibe: Azman Taufik
Comic: John Dodgson

We reached the football field 5 minutes before the run and wondering why was there no car/truck parked at the football field. Perhaps the temperature was hot (37 Degrees) and hashers being brainy creatures parked underneath the palm trees!!.

Just in time to jump into my shorts and put on the running shoes and the run started towards the path well trodden, up the path, and soon at the fork, there was the first check! Easy enough to break this one and it took hashers right up thru the palm oil thru the rubber plantation and thru some underbrush.

The hills from the 1st to 2nd check was beareable, most walked briskly, and path was relatively clear. There was a sharp down hill turn and suddenly we were back to the hills we first started and there was the 3rd check which is just a kilometer and half to the run site.

This is when everyone including FrOpS we gathered unable to break the 3rd check. Commendable efforts were put by front runners, going round and round the half bared hills. No one broke the 3rd check 50 minutes, even Abraham who came late tried to run the full 360 degrees direction!

Darn, we all knew Reiko and Alister just got married, but what the heck were they doing when laying the papers…&^%! After 20 minutes or so lingering on the check, Jimmy and a few others decided to head back to the camp site. The rest make their way backwards on the paper trail while about 15 of us went back upwards the hill bordering the main road!, but as the paper trail went dead, all headed back to the run site.

Run 1639 can be counted as one of the shortest run in the history of PH3!! Back at the run site, circle was called up by Tommy, the 1st charged was on Guiness AKA Techno Bomoh (witchdoctor). Guiness was trying to explain what was techno bomoh all about, but it was lost in translation! Allister was in no time being made to sit on ice for the entire circle as punishment for the short run. Hmmm…. The honeymoon couple also tried to bribe the hashers with Twisters chips!

There was a pleasant surprise when this scribe writer was presented with a birthday cake compliments of Tommy! Tommy also brought some mangosteen from his farm, which tasted nice.

More and more got charged! - including Richard, Jimmy, Virginia's husband who got new carriage! Guests for this week in no particular order are; hollaf hank, villa, paul, mammo penang, kue lan (for an odd reason Eileen refers to this girl as Vagina Tan… hmmm). Vagina Tana asked why on earth would people pick up the papers when a check is called. At that point Guiness Techno Bomoh started to speak in Penang to explain, for that Guiness was also charged again!

Lawrence (last week scribe) was charged for sending his scribe report late, and this writer will also kena since he is sending this at the 11th hour!

We adjourned to the On On at a Chinese restaurant (forgot the name) in Ulu Yam. This is one of the best kept secret, the restaurant served Tom Yam in cooked in coconut!! Tastes real good….

I would rate run 1639 with 3.5 stars however, the food was compliments of the newly wed couple Reiko and Alister (Best Wishes) which I rate 10 stars. Average star = 7 stars!
ON ON

Run 1638 - August 02 2008

Hare: Azman Taufik
Co-hare:Tommy
Scribe: Laurence
Venue: Bukit Lagong

Another run-site conveniently close to KL, but I filled up my Satria with RM100 of petrol anyway, almost doubling its value, before setting off on the well-trodden route to Bukit Lagong. Luckily it's a very well-trodden route for most of us, because the 'Take the slip-road signposted "Pejabat Daerah Gombak'" instruction isn't very correct/helpful any more.

We maintained PH3's reputation for promptness by starting the run a few minutes early - maybe that was to pre-empt all the short-cutters and walkers who always set off early and clog up the trail.
Those of us who remembered the last run from the same site were expecting something similar: a quick 20 minutes run up the valley and 15 minutes back again. We were pleasantly surprised to drop into the stream for the first check, followed by a steep climb and then a descent to the trail which some of the short-cutters had continued on. The next check led us into the stream again, followed by another steep muddy climb, and then more checks, more climbing, and good up-and-down running paths much of the way. Just before the third or fourth check stood a sylvan durian stall - I don't know if it was organised by the hare, but it was very welcome. The last couple of checks followed tradition by being back-checks (when was the last time PH3 had a forward check?), causing the FROPs to leap-frog each other and helping the pack keep up, but it was all good running down the hill back to the cars.

The front-runners were back in just over an hour, and the pack and back-runners all came out within about 30 minutes of that, except for one poor lost soul. Jane Trane had been seen going in late, and was still missing as we were preparing for the circle. There were gleeful shouts of "Jane's still out!" and "Jane's lost!" from people who had thought she was as invincible as the British Empire before 1942. She soon appeared however, with a child and dog in tow, although Nan didn't notice and was still trying to organise search parties much later.

With our GM absent again, JM Tommy Chin tool charge of the circle. It has been noted of late that, when young Tommy finds himself in the middle of the circle, his composure is affected by the gaze of so many fit young harriettes, so much that he loses his marbles and has trouble following the usual Petaling agenda. This week he introduced his own innovation to the bomoh / charges part - I'm not sure exactly how it works (I was distracted by beer and all the fit young harriettes) but either the last person charged gets to do the next charge, or many bomohs are chosen at random, or something like that...
Either way, it worked well, with much amusement, and no shortage of guilty parties being given down-downs for heinous crimes. Richard and Klaus charged and counter-charged each other - Klaus' crime was striking out on an exceptionally long 'short cut' in completely the wrong direction and leading Richard astray, while Richard's crime was following the 'Führer' Klaus. All I can say is that it takes two to tango, birds of a feather stick together, and there's no smoke without fire, so they're all 100% guilty in my eyes, deserve to be nailed to the shithouse, should never have been born at all, and will never get to heaven in a long long way. I'm not sure what I got charged for, but I'm sure I deserved it!

The hare, Azman, was given cruel and unusual punishments for his own barbaric sins of (a) setting an exceptionally good run; and (b) having a birthday. His ordeals, which are now banned at Guantanamo Bay (and also by civilised nations), involved being stripped, scrubbed with soap and icy water, and generally abused by the hash's keenest sadists. All good clean fun.

I didn't attend the On-On, but it was reported that the food was great at RM15 per head. There were also countless down-downs fro virgins and visitors, including one who was charged for allegedly peeing his pants after consuming too much beer and durian. Still waiting for the medical reports and DNA evidence on that one...

In summary, a great run in a grest location. Although it was fairly short (around 5.5km), there was plenty of hard running and also plenty of climbs, so a good workout followed by plenty of time for drinking beer before the sun went down.

Run 1637 - 26 July 2008

Hare : Laurence
Co-Hare : Sen
Scribe : Sheila P.
Venue : Sg Penchala

As I make my way to Penchala for the run, I had mixed thoughts as to coming for the run. On one hand, I was down with bad sinus plus just about everything else you could imagine. On the other hand, I was still riding high on the T-Shirt run I did last week. Still, scribe is scribe, so I decided to continue my drive to the run.

The run took off at 4.30pm with a good feel of well-chosen run site on a sunny day. About 70-80 of us and a golden retriever climbed up an immediate hill and it got steeper half hour into the run. After a couple of checks, we were run by a chaotic loop check further up the hill. This was where Jerry gave a yelp as he twisted his ankle, entangled by some buttress roots at the slope.

Hashers were checking to and fro for some time but no On On call was heard. As Ben and I headed upwards, many hashers passed us by turning back. Paper continued somewhere down the valley towards the right. It was pretty warm day though shady site. After an hour half, we turned backward. This is where we bumped into Sen, the co-hare whereas he ought not to be seen and worse still with his jean and long sleeve shirt. Yup, the site is generally colonized by merciless mozzies. Nevertheless, it was fairly excellent choice of run-site.

After numerously charges and on downs, I headed back. I didn’t attend the on on. As generally concluded, WELL DONE to Laurence & Sen.

Run 1636 - July 19 2008

Hare: Sheila Payne
Co-Hare: Ted Paslow & Cheryl Rinai
Scribe: Gary Waring
Comic: Alvin Chah
Venue: Ulu Yam Baru
Leaving Sungai Buloh around 3.05pm, I was expecting the normal traffic through Rawang, so was keen to get away. To my surprise, I just sailed through Rawang and arrived in Hulu Yam about 4 p.m., which was good, as I did not know this run site. Luckily, I spotted Rambo's truck, by the side of the road and was able to follow him.

As normal on arrival, Don Cheang was there to point me in the right direction, so parked up and shoes on, with plenty of time to spare. Don Cheang advised us before running, that we would be passing on some private land (or something to that effect) and not to pinch any of the fruit (or no scrumping). Then we were off.

The run started up a reasonably gentle slope, and the first check was broken, just as we reached it. Apparently there was a false trail, which caught around ten of the front runners, otherwise it was quickly broken. We continued going up hill, in what was very picturesque surroundings. Then finally dropped down into a open valley, where there was a scene of confusion at the second check. There were calls of “On-On” first to the left and then to the right. So we first went left, then back right, only to be told that the right path, was one big circle. We all trudged off to the left again, along the valley, over a stream, where the paper continued. Then remembered going into some ‘junglely’ parts, with some hilly up and down sections for a while. Kind of totally missed the third check, (as was probably following blindly) but assumed it must have been, at the top of the hill somewhere? The rest of the run was also straightforward, and the forth and fifth checks had been broken, way before I got there. Again, a very picturesque run home, down a valley with fruit trees and the odd fallen durian, to which some of the local runners, were instinctively called.

First runner in at around 5.32pm and even I was back in by 5.50pm, so bit of a short run (approx 6km). However this gave us extra time to enjoy the natural jacuzzi (just behind the beer wagon), which I can assure you, was most invigorating.

The circle started around 7.00 p.m. and went straight into the charges. Quite rightly, the first charge was, for all those who picked up durian along the run, followed by charges for reckless driving, breaking hearts, and new shoes. There was then a charge for Nim Chee, for not been able to operate his 4 wheel drive and in the process caking my car with mud; and nearly me, who was standing behind it. Why I was called for this charge, is a huge injustice, which I'm obviously still sore about.

All the owners of Honda cars, were then charged for ‘losing wing mirrors’, followed by the most serious charge of the decade, being that of ‘attempted murder’. (Something too do with noodles and tuna sandwiches.) There were a couple of announcements for the full moon hash and hash challenge. The circle then ended with a rendition of ‘singing in the rain’, by Don Cheang.

On-on was at the UY Soon Huat Seafood Restaurant and very good value for RM14 per head. (I was well stuffed).

Further charges acknowledged the ‘durian community’, and the ‘Barry's’, with the cry of 'One Barry Drinks, All Barry Drinks'.

The run, although a bit short, was awarded the 'T-shirt'. The picturesque location and spa facilities obviously helped.

Triple on was called 'some where in Bangsar' were 'Davies’ used to be?? Admittedly, I wimped out of this one.

On-On.