Venue : Kota Damansara
Hare : David Wee
Co-Hare :
Scribe : Charles Lee
The burden of high office in the Hash is onorous – so in the absence of the appointed scribe or his deputy – here goes. Tony, you owe me a beer or ten.
Chinese New Year weekend, but despite an alternative attraction on the eastern coast and numerous ‘balik kampong’ absentees we still had about 50 diehards for the run. The run site was fairly close to home and no traffic problems this weekend, thank goodness. Whoever wrote the run directions definitely did not achieve the ‘Estimators’ badge in the Boy Scouts – and probably needs glasses to read the odometer. Since when is it 0.1km from the Shell petrol station to the first traffic lights? The same applies to the 6.6km directions later.
The run site was on another moonscape where the old farts fondly remember a lovely rubber plantation. However, there was a fringe of forest round the perimeter so it was pretty clear where we were running and once we started in which direction. Jimmy Legover started the run promptly at 4.30pm and the pack sauntered off down the road then left and left again up to the ‘kolam air’ for the first check. After a false, false trail call - off we went into the ‘secondary’ and that is where we stayed – virtually single file jungle trekking all the way. The remaining checks were virtually identical, but quite well laid and they did keep the hard core of the pack together. The paper was good too – although there is a tendency for some FRBs to;
(a) pick up ALL the paper at the check (so no one following knows where it was) and
(b) then not tear it up when joining the check so the Comic doesn’t know where the new trail starts. Please!!!!!!
Guys, that pervert Kojak has a great wheeze. Find a big log where the girls have difficulty getting their leg over. Sit on the lowest bit pretending to be tired and just wait for the women to turn up. When they have difficulty getting past – give them a bunk up! Brilliant and judging by the screams I heard behind me, very successful.
Following the jungle trek we did have a final run in across the moonscape, so some were puffing a bit by the end and the front runner finished in just over the hour. That gave us plenty of time to dig out the splinters and tend the cuts. All were back within 90 minutes – except Patsy (dreadfully sorry to learn of your sad news) who decided the run wasn’t long enough and so went on and on and on and on – much to Jimmy’s concern.
At the circle, the Joint GM called on Helen B. to be the Bomo – who promptly down-downed Jimmy twice for dropping her in the s**t. I seem to recall someone having to drink out of a filthy shoe, but I can’t remember any more (senile dementia has set in). Jimmy then organised a great game where 2 teams of Chinese had 10 seconds to teach their ‘gwai lo’ cousins a dirty Chinese word. After a suitable time to forget it, those that failed were down-downed.
Haberdashery sales? Zero – which wasn’t helped by Magda and her guests pissing off before even the circle had been called.
Some stayed back at the run site to help (?) Ramli pack up, keep the curious onlookers at bay and finish off another crate of beer. To get to the restaurant one needed a degree in cartography and even then the map didn’t show the name of the place. Still, we all eventually got there to find there weren’t enough tables. Once that had been sorted out about 40 of us settled down to ‘yi sang’ and samples of various other dishes. All for the princely sum of RM 15.
Rather controversially, the run (jungle trek with a bit of road running at the start and finish) was awarded a T-shirt. The co-hare refused to bare all and so we had to suffer the hare’s not so hairy, chest. No virgins, no guests but 3 returnees, Aad (back for a couple of weeks for a blow job), Nick and his wife – ‘Fragrant Smell’ I think she was called. Can’t help wondering if mum had been eating sprouts before she was born.
No one from the floor was prepared to entertain us with a joke/song so I tried my best with “Will You Marry Me?” Gail contrived to sabotage it, but we got through it in the end. No one was interested in a ‘triple on’ either.
And that was it really. Thanks to the hares for organising another successful day – particularly on the CNY weekend – and to those that supported us.