Venue : Vicinity of Ulu Yam Lama
Hare : Dennis CHIN
Co-Hare : PARANG MOB
Scribe : Hornblower
Well the PARANG MOB seem to have the PH3 Toilet Seat attached to their back-sides with super-glue.
Not excepting run #1392 at Kerling on 15th November last year (The Parang Mob’s last outing) which was one of the worst PH3 runs I’ve done, this was another seriously poor effort and deserved its toilet seat.
The run site was awful – hardly enough parking for the less than half strength turn-out that we had. In addition, it was in the middle of some of the most mosquito infested rubber it’s ever been my misfortune to visit. Experienced hares should know better. The assembled runners were scratching themselves like a pack of dogs with fleas within minutes of alighting from their cars. Some bright spark (Ramli?) actually lit a smoky fire to give some relief from the swarms of mossies.
The pack was reduced to about 50, including perhaps 10 guests, as most of the club was attending the memorial service for Patrick Coyle. Yours truly stood in as acting GM and Shan (without even being asked) took up his old post as COMIC to close the checks. A dignified and sad minutes silence for Patrick was held and On On was called at bout 4.33 pm.
The run itself had commenced thru rubber and to be fair had some very beautiful trails. Had the hares just stuck to connecting those sections together by the shortest available route, this might have been an excellent run.
Instead, we had the another routine of endless, pointless detours to take in every available 60 deg slope in the area, with as much un-runnable secondary jungle and shiggy as possible. What we ended up with was two standard PH3 runs cobbled together somewhere in the middle. I was brought up short by a nice sharp rotan hooked in my ear, to add to one on my arm which did not improve my enjoyment of this masochists marathon at all.
Luckily for all concerned, it did not rain. Many of the slopes were already made slippy enough despite dry conditions less than half a normal pack. The slopes were pathless, too many and too steep.
First runner I believe was back around 6.50 pm for the 2 hr 20 mark. Pack straggled in around 7.15-7.30 pm for another 3 hour half marathon. Fortunately, no-one got lost and in the hares defence they are to be commended for sending a sweeper around after the pack. Had this not been done, at least one un-breakable check would have detained the pack for another 15 mins or more and I think this (a sweeper) should become standard practise for the club. Since at least one of the hares knows that he has to go round again, it might curb some of the worst excesses of over-long runs AND save Amelia a night or two out in the jungle.
Faced with the disapproval of the pack the Parang Mob were again totally unrepentant and instead moaned that the sub-strength pack had made a pathetic effort. These guys just seem to be losing the plot. No-one I spoke to enjoyed this run and a number of people remarked that they would not expect to see any of the visitors (and perhaps one or two of the regular members) back again. The run, at a guess, included at least 750 metres of inclines – whereas our guidelines for a good run are NOT MORE THAN 200-300 metres of inlcine, max. There was too much climbing, too much un-runnable terrain and it was just TOO BLOODY LONG!!! The Parang Mob might think it’s a joke, but the pack do not want to be used as guinea pigs for the hash challenge. Wake up, guys!
Given the late hour and aching bones, no circle was held at the run-site and we decamped to the old Lucky Light restaurant at 8.00 pm where a surprising 4 tables + one of kids descended for some seriously good food. After a short circle, proceedings wrapped up at 10.00 pm and the weary souls wended their way home.
In case the Parang MOB think I’m being too hard on them, I reproduce below excerpts from scribe report #1392…
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Oh! Oh! Oh NO, the nightmare began (unknown to us still then) … the rain came drizzling down and eventually pouring onto us. Slowly, slowly we went up track on this giant hill that seems to be endless. The rain certainly did not make things easy. Hashers were seen climbing on all fours, plough to the surface of the earth, grabbing onto whatever they could get hold of… roots, branches, thorns, earth (very desperate-lah), twigs, to proceed upwards and prevent from slipping. Here at this point, the true colours of hashers came out…what the f…, “teu na ma…” , mad-lah and so forth. The four letter word in various languages and dialects were heard all the way up… It’s getting dark.
Finally, when we came out of the hill… we could not see anything … Blindly we found our way down, sliding most of the way among the slippery path and home. First runner in was 2 hours 15 min. Most of the pack were out by 7.30pm. However there were still some poor souls inside. .. The GM decide to call the circle off, while two co-hares lead the lucky ones who were out to dinner…
By 9.30pm… we got a phone call to say 7 hashers were out at Kuala Kubu town or something like that. The usual tradition of on downs were called off too. When we left after dinner, apparently, Emilia, Saru and Stephenie were still in there. Finally, a check the next morning found that they came out about 2.30am. What a night!
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The Parang Mob used to be synonymous with T shirt and Medal runs through beautiful, unspoilt running country – nearly always with some crystal clear streams and waterfalls – in fact the best that Klang Valley hashing has to offer. What has gone wrong?