Venue: Kerling Estate, Bukit Beringin
Hare: Ima Druba
Co-hare: Thomas Moser & the German Connection
Vs 96 x PH3 hounds [incl virgin_hashers from Kajang]
Scribe: Elaine ‘Betong Belle’ Leong’s designate Chuck-wow
Pre-ramble
1. The run-site was somewhere yonder in outer Kerling and Bukit Beringin, at the Kerling Estate perhaps one of the better kept rubber and oil palm estates in the country.
We were parked in this open pork-marked field, but of course the kampong cows had to made a shit field of it. Young Francis ‘Lan Si’ remarked that the driving to the run site took 1.5 hours and the run better be long and worth the effort. The lady from the Royal Lake Club faculty was handing out snacks of fresh lotus flower pods for its seeds. Terry’s new found groupies came in separate Kenaris, he found it was for their own good and privacy [post run shower] to parked at the far end of the field, this old-fart gets socially retarded when sporting new toys. Two car loads of new and young-blood potential PH3 hashers drove in and declared they were from Kajang and guests of another lady-guest Ella, good on you Ella we surly need new bloods in the Hash.
2. Opera Cheong was his old self again, mastering ‘kaki’ for his Songkhla sojourn over the coming weekend. Kwan and KeChiBye were keen takers I had to give it a miss as I had other pressing problem of my own, not necessary of the penile-head. Saru our party-cakes-supplier was spotted with a new hair-cut, she is in atonement for her mistakes and wrong doings. Dear sister Saru… what you are about to embark on will need atonement, be warn you might be bald before you realise your doings.
3. [Somehow went missing!!!! Text eaten by a mysterious computer worm in the webmasters computer probably caused by that German Sven somethingorrather who's been responsible for 70% of all worms lately]
The Run
4. The hash horn heralded and the multitudes charged into the oil palm estate, led by Alex F1 Yoong, Toni Kempen and a whole bunch of kiasu pushing and shoving racers, up a sloop and then descended to the river to the 1st Check. The lesser stupid, kept on the up-hill slope and true to the word papers were found winding its way to the top of the ridge. Papers steep descended into the rubber. Being the lazy self that I am, and just back the morning’s recce for the Hash Challenge, yours truly kept along the descending rubber track paralleled to the papers, wahlau! I veered away from the pack and was all-alone. Met up with a guest from Mother Hash, Peter the Giant who wanted to shortcut home after only 20 minutes into the run. 30 minutes into my own all-alone run found myself heading back to the cars, holy shit!…
5. Peeled off towards the in-trail papers and ran up to the junction of the long and short runs, following the common paper trail till met up with the FROPs of Alex and Toni again. Did a 180 turn and run back to the cars on the short-run papers, in by 0130 hours. After quenching my dehydrated body with 3 cans of 100Plus, welcomed the FROPs from the long run in 0200 hours. Had a great post-run interactive group around the beer wagon, both vocal and accusing outbursts. Like ‘..Toni, you didn’t call when you found papers’, ‘..the Comic was slow in closing the checks and I got caught at the falsie’, ‘.. anybody seen the virgin-hashers from Kajang,’, ‘…last sighted with Timothy, not to worry’.
The Circle
6. The hare and her co-hares were on down for a ‘T-shirt run’. The virgin-runners from Kajang and their ‘tai kah chare’ Ella were welcomed. Sinner co-hare Wolfgang for choosing a cow-shitty field for parking lot. Following Daniel & Virginia’s all-alone rub-a-scrub-dub ritual, Gail & Isaac the new followers were summoned with the former mooning herself in g-string from across the field. Activities witnessed and documented by old voyeurers Jimmy L, Graeme Kayu, and Thomas had it in digital cam. Terry for not allowing the multitudes to share his privilege indulges & socially envied activities. Saru for her cutie atonement hair-cut.
On On
7. Strangely, the hare on advised from her co-hare chose Bukit Beruntung area for her On On. Instruction to the on on was, “…after paying toll, drive and turn right at the T-junction. 2 km down the road with CALTEX on your left, turn right to row of shops and last shop is the Three Circles Restaurant”. Three quarter of the 5-tables On On crowd got lost as there was no Caltex Station in the vicinity, but a MOBIL station. Perhaps the Germans spell MOBIL as C-A-L-T-E-X, Timothy and his new found Kajang wanna-be disciples weren’t amused as they were driving in circle looking for this German identified CALTEX station. No prize for guessing who got on down later in the evening.
8. 4x tables of hash food with 1x table for the halal-food hash group. Still no show from religious converts and the run-drink-and piss-off socially challenged quarters. Well, Kaiser Wolfgang, hashing is to each his/her own. We can only show them the pave, if they stray and chose to be what they are, we won’t loose sleep over it. Food was served at 0940pm, and was cleaned out as fast as the restaurant could churned it out. I swear I didn’t see or could remember what I stuff into my face. All I could remember was this table protesting why the Hare’s table had Buttered Prawns while they didn’t. Hey hello, ‘halal’ get prawns, while you infidel pig-lovers are the non-halal. Thank you to the Hare for twisting her co-hare husband’s arm to subsidy meal at RM10/-. All in all a pleasant and tiring evening, that’s what Hashing is all about…
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE…
Will the PH3 Committee do something, of over zealous members singing vulgar and non-halal hash songs in the public and at On On restaurants. We do not wish to offend the public who shares the same eatery as the Hash, there are children and sensitive customers around.
The repulsive hash Chinese Hokkien song: “K.n N.. L.u Bu CCB” should be barred from the Hash, definitely in Petaling Hash.