Venue : Kinrara Golf Course area, Puchong
Hare : Brenda Ng Vs 98 hashers plus 6 humanoid dogs
Co-Hare : her-ultimate-half Bernard
Scribe : Chuck-wow of the Merdeka 2004 Sin Ning Traid
Preamble.
a. It is hereby ascertained that our now hen-pecked newly wedded Rosli ‘Fuckaewee’ Ahmad has consummated his long awaited freedom. Will we be hearing little ‘fuckawees’ from around the corner? Nazirah secretly informed our confidant that Rosli has been at it after the PH3 guests eventually left the groom’s residence on that over-stay-our-welcome wedding evening. Talk of over-indulging.
b. It is also confirmed that Suat did not graduate from the now infamous Silicon-Valley, now-kiasu Yaso bet her arse on it. We are please to inform Rob ‘Wong-Ah-Kow’ Stott that Suat will be able to join your Aquanauts Academy at Pulau Perhatian. However we suggest extra weighs required for depth submersing.
c. Ima wishes that she could accompany Nazirah [Fuckawee’s wife lah] in their quest for maternity-hood. May we suggest she seek Wolfgang’s effort and blessing.
d. Helen found out that her in-laws back in Cornwall, UK has the ultimate sock-burners - Cornwall Cider. It’s the piss of piss in all sense of the word. Best de-wormer known to the Brooke family.
e. It nice to see Paul ‘Hash Shag’ Smith and Opera Cheong are back to hashing and training for the Hash Challenge 2004. No, I’m not that mentally challenged to take up their offer to participate.
f. Rosli ‘Fuckawee’ reiterate that his Hash life-style will not change now that he is married… Hello, live in the real world my friend, I placed my circumised prick to bet it has changed the day you cannot send her back to her parents’ house after shagging her on a night out. She is yours to keep, for goodness or otherwise. Some F..khead this Fuckawee.
g. Hot off the Press; Gudrun Feil is suffering from culture/post trauma shock while back home in Motherland, Germany. Need to get back to Malaysia to seek solace with PH3 this coming weekend for two weeks. Please be gentle and kind to her when giving her welcome back hugs.
The Run.
That Piece-of-Dog-Shit Grand Messiah summoned all and beholds to bow before him at the appointed time. On the advice of Arnie and Ah Kow Stott, he led the multitude across the rocky moon surface towards this steep incline. However some recalcitrant in Yogi, Rambo and followers decided to take the low road that channeled to a dead end, we had a good yahhhing. Just as we were about to reach the top of this hill some bright arse called that we are on in in-trail papers, from the top we could see afar someone marshalling the pack to the correct out-trail. Down a small ravine into the forest that led to a long steep incline. Now the FROPs were at the back of to pack, that’s what hashing is about, you don’t get the last laugh. Initially I was behind the P-O-D-S GM up this rotan-filled forest, he got side tracked to the left and I found a bloodied-nose Pommy talking incomprehensibly about this dog and the tree branch that attacked him. Now was this long single-file puffing its way to the top of the hill, have you tried following behind Patsy, Kwan and Emilia up a steep incline with lots of sharp rotan creepies. Never ending screams and whining; The cake must be given to this mother-of-all-bitching CWTTANC woman hasher who whined and cursed her fat arse way to the top. Bloody painful to the ears if you are amidst this thing, our sincere empathy to the domestically challenge and abused husband.
Half way up, met up with a guest of Voon [RLC gang] who was without footwear, am I seeing thing? Apparently the hasher did not advised his guest on the appropriate attires required for hashing, our quest was dressed for an evening-stroll-in-the-park, his junior wore a pair of sandals which got stuck and lost in a mud pool. Good old dad offered his footwear to the son and he went barefooted himself for paternal instinct, the rest was history when dad got back to the run-site totally ‘destroyed’.
At the top of the hill was a beautiful fern-lined trail that ran along the ridge, single-filed behind Mei, Jane and Virginia for a good half hour. Paper was heard to be calling on our right off the trail and descended all the way back to the run-site. Some where along the descend we lost Mei, as there were stragglers behind her on this single- file trail, we won’t too worried.
It was a relatively short run with a good 10 minutes waylaid by the GM at the start; front runners got in within the hour with most in within 20 minutes of one another. Good length for returnee hashers and long Merdeka-weekenders. Yes we managed a sweaty workout, however Macho Rambo said he didn’t swear at all. Well to each his/her own in hashing.
The Circle.
a. Ah Kow Stott and Arnie for leading the GM up the in-trail were KNLBCCBed down.
b. Mei, Florence and Maid Marion for foot, bum and face abused in that order.
c. Returnee in over pregnantly looking Christie C and Richie Moss. Who is to say
we men are not sensitive and empathetic to female pregnancy should see Richie for opinion.
On On.
At Restoran YY around the corner from the run site at Taman Bandar Kinrara. Five full tables graced the evening of mediocre hash dining. Perhaps the portion of serving was a bit too small for hungry hashers after a good workout. The hare was extremely generous in providing umpteen big bottles of Carlsberg for the five tables, my table had to refuse additional offers. Wonders never cease that hashers refused beer offers from the hare at on on.
Mr Babi Brooke fell off his chair from body-mass indulging from his UK vacation that almost cost the Hare to pay for chair damages. Wait till he gets home when Auntie Helen will give him a earful for public embarrassment to the Brooke family.
The Hash bits farewell again to Yaso and Nigel for seeking fortune in Kiasu land, good riddance to utter rubbish. However free B&B is available if PH3 members are down in Kiasuland, see Auntie Helen for onward reservations. We should have a by-law to implicate that this couple must give us PH3 a welcome-and-nice-to-have-us-back party if they ever come back to PH3 in the near future.
Thank you Brenda and Bernard for the pleasant evening of hashing.