Venue : Hulu Langat
Hare : Paul Smith
Co-Hare : Winstanley Scribe
Scribe : Saru
It was a hot day, as it has been recently, and we were going to a runsite that should be banned. This particular runsite is located in an area of many many mountains and only a few valleys. It has a history of nearly destroying some well known hashers. The only saving grace is that a rumor has been floating around that the U.S. Navy will be attending. I miss Roger but he is gone so what is a little girl to do……….
Arriving at the turn-off to the runsite there is supposed the “one and only” hash sign. However, this “one and only” hash sign is well hidden and some of our members drive past. Maybe Issac needs to buy new glasses for Gail the Navigator. The always willing to help Rambo finally put up a proper sign when he arrived. I doubt if that helped the Kirkman Klan as Nancy had loaded their carriage with swimming gear and was trying to navigate Paul to Ulu Renning where I set my run last week. None of this is a good beginning.
We drive towards the end of the road (as instructed) through what might be a Malay Reserve. It is making me nervous because this does not look like a good area to be drinking large quantities of beer and singing those horrible hash songs. What to do lah? This is Paul Smith’s big day. Most of us drive to the end of the road (as instructed) where the only shade is. However, a spot has been reserved for the Beer Truck approximately ⅔ of a kilometer away. We have to trudge back up the hill to leave our keys and partake of some cold water. Ah yes….the Navy has arrived and they are a fit and handsome looking lot. However, it appears Mei and Elaine have already pounced on them. No worry……there are plenty of them and Roger is gone……..what’s a little girl to do?
Our handsome and wonderful GM gives a warning it is a tough area and may be a long run. Stay on paper, drink lots of water. He sets us off promptly at 4:30 pm. I just admire that GM so much…..he is definitely wonderful.
It is a grind up the hill at the very beginning of the run. What kind of stupid Hare would start a run like that? The front runners who took off in storm have soon slowed to a gentle walk. At the top of the hill the first check is found. After a brief search paper is found leading down a plantation road to the left. The front runners roar off again and most of us follow at a more gentle pace. After a couple of hundred meters the paper runs out and it is determined this is a very long (and illegal) false trail. Back up the hill where someone finds paper leading off to the right. It is now a bit of bashing through the jungle, down a road, up a hill, more jungle bashing and up another hill. However, the pack is together and we are doing a lot of single filing up the continuous hills and through the bush. After a couple of more checks we find ourselves going down a very severe old logging (?) road that is dry but is covered with fine sand and pebbles. It was very difficult not to be out of control as we make our way to the bottom. Needless to say – it was back to the top of another hill.
At the top of this hill we had a spectacular view. We were four levels above Taman Agroteknologi Road. I knew where we were. We were several kilometers and two very large mountains from the runsite. What was amazing was the pack was going down these four levels of grass embankment – most on their butt. They were crossing the paved road and continuing on into the jungle on the other side of the road which was very definitely away from the runsite. This was one hour into the run. Our beloved GM had been right – the bastards were trying to kill us today.
Not everybody was doing this. In the far away distance we could see Graham Davidson running down the paved road in the wrong direction. Evidently, as it turns out, he had paper – but it was the wrong paper. Eventually he ran all the way down Taman Agroteknologi to the Main Road; made a right hand turn; ran a few hundred meters to the turn-off to the runsite and ran back to the runsite on the same road he had driven on to the runsite. This only added about 8.5 kilometers to an otherwise long run. That’s OK…..he’s a well known front runner and deserves what he gets.
Meanwhile the rest of us went down the four levels of the embankment on our precious, soft and tender butts crossed the road and proceeded to follow paper into the jungle on the other side – which I state again was going away from the runsite. Gads it’s going to be a long run today. I am out over an hour and we are still going away from the runsite. (I miss Roger). We crossed the stream, came back to it, went down the stream, out of the stream, back in the stream, down the stream, out of the stream and back into the stream. I lost count of the number of times we went in and out of that bloody creek. We passed by and through the resort which were very busy with guests – most of whom found us an unusual sight. I suppose we were since most of us were knackered and dying of thirst. Those carrying water would not share – I am going to report them to Roger. He will beat the dawg excrement out of them for being so mean to this little girl. However, I did get some “personal” assistance from the U.S. Navy but proper decorum prohibits further discussion about that hot and spicy moment.
We went to the bloody end of that creek and finally got out for the final assault on the two mountains that had to be crossed before we reached the safety and security of the runsite. It was at this point that most of us took the opportunity to clean the sand and mud from our shoes and socks. While I was cleaning my gear the late arriving John Lavelle came roaring by – he had heard the U.S. Navy included one front running Bimbo and was determined to get a look at it. Not to be out-done the late arriving Chu Chu came trotting by looking for the Navy.
It was up the first mountain (another grind) and down a valley and then up the final mountain where we found ourselves on the first false trail. Some hashers felt they were on the Out Trail and were worried about making a second round of the run. One in particular was arguing loudly with Issac who was tired and did not want to put up with too much at this point. In a moment of deep frustration he turned and said, “Dammit Patsy – just stay on paper !!!!”.
Everybody finally got home. First runner (U.S. Navy) 1 hour 55 minutes with Soo and Emila finally coming around 8:00 pm. Definitely a Ten Weeker.
The lovable GM conducted the normal circle with a few Down-Downs. The only thing really different was a name ceremony for one of the Navy lads. The GM graciously allowed visiting GM Harelip of the traveling U.S. Navy do the honors. It was then on to the restaurant.
Total beer consumption at the runsite was 11 crates. Not bad for such a long run. Financially I guess it was OK because we had 23 beer paying Guests.
The restaurant was a bit of a Madhouse. We were at seven tables (maybe eight – a bunch) adjacent to the restaurant kind of in the parking lot. Food was OK and probably well subsidized as we only had to pay Rm 10. On Cash Emila was in good spirits and as part of farewell to being On Cash she had two tables lined up with beers for the final circle. The Hares were duly recognized and Paul Smith was given the Toilet Seat which he proudly wore the remainder of the evening. I think he enjoyed it. This guy is definitely different. There was a virgin runner from Thailand that during the course of the run had kicked the GM. Unfortunately she had kicked him with new shoes. It is a strange world. She had come with Dave Settingin but Opera had brought the new shoes. They each had a beer from the new Nike Drinking Vessels – which included an egg. Oh yes…..no doubt about it. Colin King was in rare form. He had to call for additional eggs a couple of times and the last I saw they were sending them out by the crate. One egg in a beer? Oh no – it was two and sometimes three eggs into the beer.
It was a tough long run. But it was much merriment afterwards. All in all a very good night. We will see how Paul does in ten weeks.
Your Scribe,
Saru
P.S. A personal thanks to the U.S. Navy boy with freckles on his butt that made the evening “memorable”.
Posted by onsec at March 7, 2005 07:27 PM