Hare : Catherine Ooi
Co-Hare : Space Cadet
Adviser : Hardy Boy
Venue : Ampang Lookout Point
Comic : Ben
Occasion : Year of the Fire Dog 2006/Catherine Ooi Birthday
Being the penultimate day of the Malaysian Open your scribe tore himself away from KLGCC at 1525 just as the siren sounded to stop play due to thunder and lightening. With the run directions offering 3 alternatives he took the Cheras and Hulu Langaat route and after encountering a deluge apparently centred on Plaza Phoenix arrived at the run site to find the entrance closed with 53 hash cars having overfilled the available parking. Jothi appeared at this juncture furious with the appalling directions and reluctantly parked by the surau, changed and walked up the hill to the Lookout. That was the first of many vociferous complaints about the directions that seemed to set the tone for the rest of the evening.
The pack was eventually called to order and took to the trail at 1640. The trail led downwards through jungle to a first check, single filed through more jungle to a second and third check before returning upwards to the run site. As there was little opportunity to run on the trail Ramli had been dispatched down the hill to a part built road that allowed the hounds to finally stretch their legs on an entirely downhill stretch of maybe a mile or more. There were, however, at the run site some soft drinks and the less enthusiastic decided to stop here and drive down to the Beer Wagon.
Charles Lee was the FROP closely followed by a group of intrepid hashers who ran steadfastly up the hill to the absent beer wagon past an ardent group of Team Builders playing games under the team names of the National Car. The clapping and cheering from this group could have been an attempt to frighten away the dogs that appeared with the hashers, appreciation for the physical attributes of the intrepid Mat Sallehs or just self indulgence at turning up for their jamboree on a Saturday. They might also have been instrumental in the decree that alcohol was not to be consumed on the premises despite Ramli’s heroic effort at getting the Beer Wagon right to the highest point of the encampment.
The site itself was rather scenic – as we are led to believe the Johor Straights Causeway replacement bridge is to be, and about as useful. Apart from the Outward Bound section with permanent tents, braiis and amphitheatre there is also a lookout tower and a netted aviary – possibly the second biggest in Asia after the Bird Park in the Lake Gardens. However it hasn’t yet been stocked as the authorities are concerned about avian flu.
Not having been here for some years it was encouraging to see that the dreadful landfill site which had dominated the area in the last century is no longer visible. However given the chaotic situation and abysmal run courtesy of the protagonists, your scribe decided that his vote for Interhash ’08 will definitely not go to KL but most likely to Perth.
The pack and a few hangers on then decamped to the revised run site, directed off the main road by Robin Cox to the repositioned Beer Wagon on a road–under-construction in a cutting below the main road and at much reduced elevation from the proscribed run site. Here a 5 Kg Birthday Cake decorated with palm trees was placed on a beer crate. Hardy Boy and the Hare were summoned to cut the cake whilst the attendant throng burst into a spontaneous rendition of Happy Birthday. The splendid iced sponge cake was then distributed for consumption with Tiger, white wines, grappa or soft drinks according to taste. Meanwhile one of the hash dog pack attacked a local, inquisitive motorsiklist before Patrick managed to call it off.
Eventually our GM, who was said to be visiting from Phuket, called the circle to order and installed Hardy Boy, who was described as the Hare, on ice whilst calling on a Bomoh from “the North East”. Nick Morse was On Downed for calling a trip to Devon working before Ah Wan came in for holding a private conversation within the circle. Meanwhile the Sidiqi was taking its effect and Don Pharmond decided to assault the cutting in search of a group of rather fine harriettes viewing the circle from above. He had only just reached the summit when a second mountaineer decided to follow. This appeared to be a Bogbrush but your scribe could not be certain due to the failing light. On Cash Barry then wanted to make an announcement about Ice (or possibly unpaid subscriptions) and so was invited to sit on the ice for a while. As Valentine’s Day was still fresh in the mind Eileen and John Lavell were invited to sit together for a while to commemorate their particularly valiant celebrations of the day.
Michael and Tom were found to be ‘pushing from behind’ whilst Ah Wan and Ronnie became known as Tits Fore in some connection with Tunku Jefari’s over exuberant yachting excursion. More sinners were introduced as the Bomoh moved on and Colin along with Maya were invited into the circle for a libation whilst those attentive were taught that Terry in translation means Pansy resulting in a Down Down for our very own august GM. Ron Brookes was chastised for giving verbal abuse to the GM as Helen, the missus, was denounced for putting up with the verbal abuse constantly. At this stage a Lost property announcement was made and six chairs were brought into the circle. On Cash reappeared muttering about a Full Moon Hash to be quickly joined by the Pantomime Professionals – Paul it would seem had recently been promoting the art form in the USofA. Pandemonium was now breaking out in true Pantomime tradition, the Principle Boy wearing a skirt and the villain gradually growing horns whilst bum chilled on ice. Maybe there were actually more folk in the circle than around it. Former committee stalwart Nan, David (who was in the process of announcing a 6 month delay) and Charlotta, Jimmy Legitt with constant companion Patsy all seemed to fighting over the ice when YinFa came forward to settle the commotion with his very Islamic canine friends.
And so as directions to the OnOn had been printed and handed out earlier it fell to Charles Lee to make the closing announcement by directing the gaze of those remaining to the bright lights of Genting Highlands – apparently the venue designate for the KL bid for Interhash ’08 – clearly visible in the night sky.
Restoran Bao Kee was the scene of the OnOn which got underway at 2120 with six tables of hashers chomping into a meal that unusually started with fried rice and included 2 tofu dishes, some fish nuggets and chopped up chicken. All for 13 Ringitts. Chairs were then lined up for the down downs that again included the hare party. Hardy Boy was then joined by Maureen, as it appeared that it was also her birthday and if one birthday celebrant drinks then all birthday celebrants must drink. Peter Brooke was then invited to stand on a chair firstly for some misdemeanor leaving Janda Baik after a braii the previous Sunday and then again for senility. Paul Kirkman then introduced a rather shy and overwhelmed Alex to the chair for some reason to do with eating Maya’s sausages. at which point Gail was said to have pissed into the bottle – all rather confusing. Your scribe was then invited to the chair for a most enjoyable Down Down for having requested an edge piece of the 5KG birthday cake with Palm trees which apparently had rendered fewer such pieces for children. In those days Petaling was a mixed hash where there was neither circle nor kids although a few dogs did attend. Now that it has metamorphosed into a Family Hash one wonders how appropriate it was to introduce a circle to the proceedings with children and dogs in such abundance – especially when birthday cakes are around. John Roberts was selected as a Rolf Harris look alike to perform in his stead and then restoran owner Mario was invited to join is for a libation. By this time all the hares had departed so the judgement on the run was considered indefensively a toilet seat which Opera accepted as a look alike Space Cadet. There was some mention of him coharing 3 times over the next 3 months so hashers were advised to check the run details and plan accordingly.
Finally the visitors and returnees were welcomed to the proceedings. 4 visitors and Isaac, BogBrush and Terry were all entertained to a Down Down before the proceedings closed at 2300 and the Petaling hashers dispersed after another interesting Saturday outing.