Location: Kundang Jaya
Hares: Ugly Mike/Cock Knocker/Botak Sage
Scribe: Les Sposito
Occasion: St George’s Day Run
We all headed north on the North-South Highway to Rawang singing stirring English songs; we went through the toll thinking of everything England had given the world; and we all turned up at the run site and parked in an orderly English fashion next to Terry with his flying English flags and sitting on his blow-up armchair. We had sunny English summertime weather for the occasion – what a wonderful English start to a wonderful St. George’s Day run...
Nan kick-started everyone off (due to our illustrious American GM turning up late. Not only did he turn up late, but he then tripled parked across the road Malaysian style in his Malaysian Wira)...............all very un-English, this!
And so it was On-On. Across the muddy plains we trekked, then up a steep hill - to sort the men from the boys - and atop to the first check. This was quickly broken followed by much single filing, in an orderly English fashion, through the jungles and rubber plantations……… on through another 4 checks with the usual cunning falsies to throw us off the scent.
After the river, we arrived at the English hospitality tent where we were greeted by Cock Knocker and Botak Sage to enjoy refreshments in the form of G&T’s, Pimms No.1 Cup, and ‘Devonshire Cream Teas’ (unfortunately these were unavailable at the time and replaced by melon handouts); all much needed rocket fuel to complete the Long Run for those of us who dared. The alternative Short Run led directly over the final hill and back to the Guinness wagon. The Long Run continued left following the river and then across a bridge where we were met by a long brown grass snake writhing all over the place and blocking the road. To avoid ‘Hissing Sid’ we took a wide berth and headed up the hill to the next check. This was followed by much running in the sun to achieve that well known English Red glow to our faces, and up another hill for the final check which was broken by Jane Trane. She was swiftly overtaken by Fierce Gay Boy racing Stefan to the finishing line. Needless to say, not wishing to wiggle his arse in front of Stefan, Fierce Gay Boy came second.
In true English style, Ugly Mike followed the Hash trail clearing the paper to avoid littering the estate and then presented glorious ‘English Empire Red’ shirts to the gents and vests to the ladies.
The Circle was called where, among other minor charges, we discovered that our Australian cousin - Graham – who, lacking good old fashioned English stamina (and having stitched everyone up 2 weeks ago with a run of Everest proportions), wimped out and selected the Short Run instead claiming he always wanted to know what one looked like!
On-On was at the Chin Hiong Restaurant where a magnificent turn-out gathered comprising 8 tables - well done everybody. And this with only 3 guests present!
The Triple-On was held with kind permission at Paul and Nancy Kirkham’s English Castle where there was much merriment; munching of traditional cockles in vinegar, crunching of pork scratchings (for all those non-Halal followers out there), and quaffing of English Tetley’s beer - all accompanied by great English Music. A final circle was called resulting in the run being graded a T-shirt run….…well done fellas!
The evening was made complete by Liverpool (wearing their traditional English Red coloured shirts) thrashing Chelsea at Stamford Bridge to win a place in the prestigious English FA Cup Final.
On-On
Suppository