Run-site: Ulu Tamu, Batang Kali
Hare: Khoo Siah Kang plus Chine Connexion Vs 120+hounds
PH3 Chinese New Year [Year of the Rat] Run
Rehash by Don Chuckwow
What was advertised and promoted as the PH3 Chinese New Year (CNY) celebration run, saw an almost record crowd of over 120 hashers, both active and look-pretties; the latter had one or more stupendous and quite original excuses for non-starting.
The weather over at the run site was threatening with over-weight rain clouds hovering around, and my sunbeam friends were desperately trying to peep through. Blimey, we are just as bad as the British morning about the weather these days. As reported there was a heavy downpour back in the city, thus causing a large number of our hashers having to join the infamous Malaysia-boleh its-raining-go-ridiculously-cautiously-slow traffic crawl to Batang Kali. That pathetic excuse blaming the weather and traffic for being late to an appointment does not hold water these days.
The hash saw the return of Ron & Helen back from their 27th honeymoon, even Uncle Robin and Tiny Richie were there. Wanted to see for themselves what these Chines were up to, perhaps Silver Fox may recommend to his Aussie community how to up the Chines for their Aussie Day run. Noticeably absent were the Chins, the Sohs, Opera, and my heavily pregnant walking mate Stephanie and her overly anxious waiting-to-be-daddy Mike Moore. And we truly missed our Chine son Leong CK [Mr Bread-man]. As some of you may recall last week's pre-on on episode; Khoo SK [the hare] himself, had quite an experience when his Volvo 4WD Station-wagon decided to dig in, and almost got sucked into the river while driving a bit too close to the sandy river bank. Safe for the selfless efforts of PH3 members, namely Dave Settergren, GM Hugh Murray, the Hercus' and the unnamed few who helped salvage the vehicle and a pale green-faced Chinaman. Thanks to your tremendous efforts, we all are able to have a CNY run this week with the Hare.
The run site was by the road side leading to our famous Ulu Tamu Hot-springs run area. Its on a large abandoned plot of land-fill and elevated space, perfect for hash events and ample parking space. By 0430pm, less the GM, saw a relatively small crowd running off to the sound of ‘on on’, papers headed to the edge of our car park and down a steep incline down into the river. Lots were cursing and swearing that their clean & pretty shoes will get wet; irony of all ironies, unless you are JC, Moses and occasionally Don Chuck-Wow, who can walk on water and may command water to part, you will get your feet/shoes wet while crossing or walking in waters. Papers went up the embankment and into oil palms, winding up into a forest where the 1st check was. The GM himself was 30 min late, and was found wondering and hopelessly lost at this check. Called of ‘on on’ was by the stream up from the Indonesian workers’ quarters, then up on dry land momentarily before going into a shiggy creek that lead out into a pristine stream. Treading up ankle depth waters for half a kilometer, then up on the left bank into a fruit orchard and onto a tarmac elevated highway to nowhere. Back into the river and across for a back-check. Bastard, took us back into the river and a 1km upstream water treading walk. Out on the right bank and then a 2km mother-of-all-circular check, Donald was not amused and called out the hare’s relatives in names. The FROPs were caught out good and proper, whilst the stragglers had a field day catching up. Run continued right, up on rubber, last check was across a rubber divide valley for a back check to a 2km down-hill home run. Back across the river and up steep incline to our cars. First runner in was Jerry French at 0132hrs.
Awaiting runners in-bound were Khoo the Hare and his two lady-elves distributing CNY t-shirts. At a corner were these carnival-like colourful tents and a roast was in progress. Announcement was made that snacks and finger food were being served. We had Uncle Roelofs’Salmon sandwiches, fried chicken & spring rolls, Aunty Maya's Chili dips, Aunty Lillian's mandarins and Aunty Jenny's pot of stewed pig-ears. Saru was heard questioning whether the roast over at the fire pit was a pig or a lamb? Yes, we might have had a few roast pigs at the run-site of late, but to pacify and satisfy Paki Queen Nassar Rasool who has been screaming blue murder that she has not been served HALAL snacks at the run-site, we chose to have roast lamb. Knut the no-showmanship- Oktoberfest-run hare, was quoted ‘These Chinese are pretty generous and go-to-town on CNY celebration’. The hash multitude present had good helpings of finger-licking-good finger food, and washed down with ample amount of the golden hash nectar. Queen Nassar had had her quota of halal roast lamb for the year, we wishfully hope she will stop bitching about run-site snacks been offered by generous hares after this. To each his/her own, I know my friend Dan the Dadah-man calls out the Good Lord's name in vain when he is chewing into hot roast pork, and is he in heaven. Last runners got in at 0700pm, in Jothi Ram and John ‘hash shag II’Dodgson.
Hash Circle
As it got dark, slight rain began to fall after holding up for the entire evening. The GM called the circle at 0720pm, invited Don Cheang to give a welcome invite to PH3 CNY Run and further invitation to a Special CNY Dinner on on. Brilliant fireworks lit up the late evening sky, he then divided the multitude of Chines [those who look like, sounded like, smelt like Chinese] to his left and the Rest-of-the-World to his right. On behalf of the Chines gathered, he highlighted last week’s incident where our favourite Chinese son [Khoo the CNY Hare] was rescued by Qwai Loh hashers when he & his Volvo4WD slipped and almost headed towards the river. This is the espirit-de-corp in Hash where we will help/assist our fellow hasher when they are in dire need/ assistance. The Chines acknowledged the selfless rescue effort with 3 [Three] appreciative and respectful bows to these PH3 QwaiLoh hashers, in particular the Taipan GM Hugh Murray.
As the rain began to fall harder, there were a couple of charges made, but these were drowned out by the wetness of the night. As the circle drew to the end, announcement of the On On at Restaurant 218 at Serendah being made, TongkatAli AhWan lit 3 long strings of fire crackers, and more fire-works lit up the now darkened sky. Then the heaven let loose its torrent rain, to cleanse us mortals for a brilliant "New Year of the Rat”.
On On
At our usual Restaurant 218, passed Serendah town BHP station, 400m after the traffic light, turn right into eatry. Quite a sizeable crowd of full 9 tables graced the CNY On On, we even had Chinese elders Uncle Looi, Nah and Yogi attending. There were more CNY food-fare been served, with free flow of wines and whiskies.
The GM called up all the Chinese for a mother-of-all CNY down down, in return they[60 strong] sang the “GongXi,GongXi,GongXi Nee_______”to the house.
There were impromptu inter-table YamSeng screaming/drinking/shouting competitions, won hand down by Sharon DeSouza all-girls table [herbie not sighted, non-qualifier for team]. DonCheang called on all those hashers who were given CNY t-shirts but chose not to wear it to the CNY OnOn to be fine RM2 each. A good collection were received by co-opted Chine Emilia, the generous amount collected were given equally as tips to the over-worked and hashers-harassed waiters. In true French appreciation, Celine Estripeau came up close to Don’s ear to give him the now infamous-PH3 FrenchBlowJob, almost blew his ears out, so to speak. [girls, blow sweet nothing into his ears will be accepted/suffice]
It was an evening of joyous entertaining CNY OnOn. The Hare in all his appreciative gesture to his being rescue last week, and able to be very here this evening to set a run and sit on the same table with us for This CNY celebration OnOn decided that that he would “pau” the On On, and he received the ThankYou/TerimaKasih song.
What a great CNY Run evening, and thank you to all who were able to grace it. We will try to have a “little” celebration do on ChapGohMeh [15th Day of the CNY/ Chinese Virgins** Debutante] Run on the 23Feb2008 .
Note; ** all you aunties and born-again virgins ......... please spare us