Venue: Semenyih (Nr. Nirvana)
Hare: Angie Yoa
Co-hare: Ah Wan
Scribe: Mike Rickard
It started as a hot day and nearly ended in a blaze even before arriving at the run site. An un-named hasher of the female persuasion with, it is believed, equine tendencies, gave her four wheeled steed a good spur in the ribs just as she was approaching the Semenyih turn off, nearly taking out two cars (including yours truly) in a dramatic piece of undertaking, usually limited to the Beechers Brook, in the Grand National!! Must have had a very urgent call of nature, or a death wish!!
The gathered pack congregated in two distinct areas, one by the beer wagon, the other in the shade of rubber trees some 100m away. The GM recognising the paper started from the area behind the beer wagon, muttered something about “Do I go to them or do I call them over here?” – decision, decisions, but call them he did.
With a brief “Anybody never run a hash before?”, the GM called On On and pointed up the hill into the rubber. The trail climbed some low terraces before turning left into a track into the woods and an early first check. This was broken, back and to the right, heading down into secondary jungle on to a road which took us to the top of a hill where the 2nd check was found.
This was quickly broken back on the road and a long run in the sun, down into a valley and back up the otherside, only to turn left down another road back into rubber and a stream, where the third check was found. This was broken very quickly forward climbing up the terraces to another open road (just what we needed – more sun tan) to the top of a very exposed hill, and down into old rubber which gave way to and orchard past some fish ponds and Check number 4.
Broken forward, this took us to a river, where we turned right and waded down river for about 200m, the last section managing to wet some of the more vertically challenged up to the waist.
Turning right we were back into rubber and the a large well kept orchard where our resident horticulturist Tommy Chin was heard to mutter something about “Japanese Mangostines” between plucking and consuming limes (or were they cumquat).
Over the top of another exposed hill and down to a stream with a very noisy irrigation pump, and climbing back into rubber on the other side.
From there it was a long home run through the rubber crossing a couple of rickety bridges, and back to the beer wagon by 5:50. Front runner was a visitor Jeff, in at 5:40, followed closely by Fierce Gayboy.
Just before the circle started, the skies darkened, lightning flashed in the distance and hashers assembled, many with umbrellas, fearing a deluge which failed to materialise.
The hares were first to be called – but the opening charge was aimed at Ah Wah for forgetting to bring along “Tree man” paper, hence the blank paper the run was set wth.
Helen (Brooks), was questioned as the reason yellow patches were plastered about her person – nicotine, morning after, were the guesses, but no, anti-mossies another weapon in the anti-dengue arsenal.
When Hash Shag was quizzed about his passengers on the trip to the run site. Celyn, Fierce Gayboy and Aluies , were called, Mike admitting he was the meat in the sandwich, but being well-behaved “kids” they had buckled up for the jouirney.
Rita confessed that her state of inebriation at Ton’s leaving do was down to consuming beer directly from the jug – Only had two she said before falling under the table.
Jeff, the first home visitor, was complimented on his sartorial elegance but down downed for acting like a Singaporean and pushing in at the various “queues” that built up in climbing the terraces.
Soo had problems with the directions but then again, with Candy as her navigator, it was understandable. Returnee Barry had the same problem, blaming his long absence (all of 2 months) and Soon Hui. The ever changing traffic flows at Phoenix Plaza confused them both.
Kamikaze took on a pimp's role at a recent gathering, by stuffing banknotes down the front of Win Chew’s dress (for a obscure reason best left only) , only to retrieve it before she could, and spend it.
Hash Shag called Barry to task for burning tons of hydrocarbons in his search for the run site., to be followed by a charge from Kamikaze that Barry being somewhat smelly, need to start spending money for a shower. In “hot pursuit” of Barry came Fierce Gayboy, who immediately got a down down for stating that Barry “was a good boyfriend “(Mike - the closet door has now been firmly closed behind you), but managed to eventually get to the point that Barry was spending good drinking time, shopping for “housey” things.
Paul K recalled a earlier conversation where Barry complained about all the fat women in the UK, whereby Barry added a further beer to his ballooning stomach. This same conversation was overheard by yours truly, who added to Barry’s beer collection for also complaining that no young lovelies would even give him a second glance in trendy Notting Hill.
The driving skills of Paul K were questioned by Robert S, when a certain incident involving a Merc, a Datuk, two body guards and a driver were related.
Unable to hide her light under her Tshirt was Maureen who was spotted by Hugh supping out of a plastic wine glass that would put the Blackpool illuminations to shame,
A final down down was given by Hash Shag to two of his passengers, Winstanley and Fierce Gayboy who under normal circumstances would talk about music, women or football, but reverted to talking work and compared the sizes of their “rigs”.
And then on to the On On which was back towards Semenyih, but blowed if I can remember its name – Sin something.
The charges came thick and fast
• Opera for using ear plugs
• Genie, for “special services” – could do with some of those myself.
• Whoremonger for scribing on the move.
• Paul K gave a list brought a selection of miscreants to task
~ Peter Caan for ruining Valentines Day by turning up for dinner wearing hash gear .
~ Rita for depositing her lunch into her handbag
~ Emilia for encouraging Rita to have a late night but would drive her home
~ Rita for refusing to pay to clean out the back of the puck filled taxi, and then for having to climb the gate carrying a handbag full of barf.
• Celyn for barfing at the table on the Miri Hash (but that’s usual for Miri hash isn’t it?)
• Bee Ling called Eloise because the boyfriends boyfriend is back in town
• Fierce Gayboy accused Kamikaze of doing something with toilet paper – missed the punch line, too busy drinking beer.
• Visitors Karen, an Ipoh virgin (didn’t think any existed) and David who did not live up to his hash handle of Tonto, as he got lost getting back from the toilet.
• Returners Barry (did you really want more beer?) who believes he should be someone’s toy boy , and Omar who is still is, but having been at it for so long, is better defined as a toy man.
• The hares Angie and Ah Wan – with the dictatorial decision by the GM in giving the run a Tshirt, just because he wanted to see the hare show some skin!!
Good food, good run, good fun.