Hare: Yong Nim Chee
Co-hare: Graham Woods & “Missing” Chris Tan
Scribe: Featherlite Piong
Determined to break the curse of the scribes on ice, Ben at my run last week and Juliana at Nim Chee’s run this week, I armed myself with paper and pen to give you this…
Arriving at the run fifteen minutes late, I followed paper into a beautiful rubber plantation and a bit of nice jungle trail - I did not expect to see anyone but soon ran into Joanna Yoong who needed more flat and stable ground to hash on since her recent knee operation, then into John Castleman.
Soon after, Colin Hercus came running from behind and informed me we had passed two checks, of which the second one was difficult to break hence was able to keep the pack together, including my late coming. Running into a dragonfruit orchard, I soon saw Peter Cann (-lah) running from my left, and I found myself with the pack.
Running along, I noticed there were the usual walkers having a chat and enjoying themselves, Saru who I always notice a mile away, Candy and Victoria. The pack ran a short stretch along a road, turning left into a fruit orchard, and continuing in more jungly trails, where I was inspired to check out sexy strappy top runner thinking it was Zu-You-Like-Her but then again was too far back for her to be and turned out to be a new face - why does PH3 allow cuter girls than me to run???
Hash scenery soon changed into oil palm, and there was good ole’ Iron Woman chugging along with Gary Murrell just ahead of her. Also runs rarely, I found Kim Dall also jogging along steadily.
We soon came into what I term “bald roads” (bald because they are smooth enough to slide or pebbles to roll you down) up a rather steep incline, where the Jerry French was seen carrying his Oscar on his back and being a gentleman, along with Shong holding barbed wire apart for fellow hashers to cross.
I soon saw old bald Mike Rickard puffing up the hill, wondering why he was hashing even though recovering from an injury from Nenasi and chest flu. Top of bald roads, (bald) runners and non-bald hashers alike found themselves rewarded with panoramic views of the valleys of the surrounding Malaysian countryside. No complaints there.
Crossing a brackish river, Alister was seen “every man for himself” shoving all else including women, children and thorns out of his way and sand into Prickheart’s face and John Lavelle “flying like a swan” over it, earning charges at the end. Whilst Kojak’s mishap twin brother Isaac gave me a gentle hand up. Of course, Iron Lady had her usual aaHs and OOhs got her across! (Mind, Dog Shit was not seen anywhere close by to provide her with that pleasure!) We did a one more bald road but nothing as steep as the first one just after that.
Seems like the hash was full of returnees from various injuries, another being Jeanie also back on the hash. At this point, I was quite impressed to see a Kommuter train whizzing past whilst hashing. We did come across more barbed wires and more gentle hashers holding it apart, “big John” with the “mini minor”. (No, I didn’t read it in the news)
The two ending circular checks were so good that all front runners including Laurence Renshaw who ended up at the back of the pack, joining myself and Kwai Hoong and as they conversed and bickered about Macchu Pichu, Inca trails and non-existent toilets as well as the overuse of porters, inflation prices of South America and so forth, we were on the home trail with banana plantation and cows, finally into oil palm and back onto the unused road as run-site to be greeted by hare, Nim Chee giving out free t-shirts (bonus!),Graham Woods and a missing Chris Tan.
At this point, I discovered, 1st runner in, Opera Cheong who was running head to head with Cindy “Champignon” (pardon my recognition) until Cindy took a wrong turn and left Opera to return at 1 hour and 25 mins with Cindy hot on his heels.
Circle began at the windy junction of the road, with a few rain drops from the sky and a cold bottomed Juliana Cann (-not lah!) who later complained to me she sat on ice that was ‘senget’ (that’s slanting to all non-malay speakers) and a rendition of history of moon cakes et cetera from Don Cheang, as well as sweet treats brought by Bee Ling and Chinese folks.
Hash kids walked around with cool old school lanterns armed with proper candles and flame trying to scare me with fire (Bob’s daughter in particular). Again, Crabby Pussy and Zu(you Like her!) was seen at the circle back after been missing for a few weeks. Opera was awarded ‘shabbiest hasher of the year’ for being a ‘tight arse’ (must look closer next time!) with if I remember correctly, strings and bit of things hanging out of his shoes. Gregg Dall the ‘wimpy Australian’ was called up only to have Don (aussie boy) to be his lookalike to take the charge for deflecting the character of his dog, hence being wimpy.
GM Sen wrapped up the circle, in timely fashion to avoid any heavy downpour on the pack bringing hashers to Restoran Zuan Kee in Kajang for On-On. A fantastic turn out of about 8 tables included the Chinese gang. Prickheart was seen offering his usual homemade Yorkshite Bitter. Hare Nim Chee was charged for serving Mat Salleh food such as deep fried pork, sweet & sour fish, fish and chestnut cakes with mayo, butter prawns, seafood dish and vegetable with oyster sauce.
A total of eight guests and returnees and other hashers were called up and tortured soon after in usual hash fashion by Paul Kirkman, the funny man he is. Alistair was his first candidate, for waving his willy around (and Nancy exclaiming how Big it was) and Rambo for doing a Crouching Dragon at the side of the road and releasing a Hidden Tiger, (if you didn’t get that – a DUMP!) However, the show stopper was indeed the two new hashers with ankle socks on the hash, with Thierry the French, and his individually compartmentalized socks. The hash of course had to sing “this little piggy” lead by Hugh Murray for his toes before they were made to drink out of their socks. This was soon followed by African Mule drinking out of his spanking new red and white Brooks shoes. Yummy desserts for some!
Given that, we had a wannabe member that wasn’t a member – JC, the virgin born and refused to go up when guests were called up and interrogated before made to do a down-down. Barry and Dave Wilson were called up for being lookalikes, and Ai Lih becoming un-cannily pregnant since Barry showed up in Malaysia, with all three ending up having a drink. Others were Jerry French and Thierry the French were charged for being Who’s who and drank it down with arms intertwined.
A wee performance by the children and a Very big child Scott Campbell, led by Don Cheang, was given to the hash and second circle ended by rating the run. Run 1699 by Yong Nim Chee was given an excellent rating and a ‘I set a good run” t-shirt for it and rightly so! On-on ended with hashers singing Terima Kasih to the hare and co-hare. Hardcore ones adjourned to Backyard for triple-On and the Chinese gang (Rambo, Don, Pang, Lai,Sam, Nim Chi, Peirs, Lim, Alyvia, Cheah, En Leong, Khoo and Soon Hui and various others) continued celebrations at the restaurant.
On- On!
Featherlite