Venue: Kemensah (behind Zoo Negara)
Scribe: Paul Kirkman
Hares: Lim Chun Leong
Co-Hares: Looi Soon Cheng/ Cheah Cheang Siong
The hares had their work cut out taking on the terrain of Zoo Negara's backyard. The hares wisely chose to set an additional shorter version of their run as they knew the body count would be high as we trudged our way up to the summit.
The run was well known and a frequently travelled trail. The steep ascent was always going to be a challenge, but after earlier rainfall became a right royal pain in the arse. After an initial check the front runners, being the devious adventure capitalists they are, took advantage of an unhindered ascent and managed to forge ahead, never to be seen again.
For the rest of us it became a much tougher ordeal with mudslides and a plethora of walking sticks preventing any reasonable attempts to pass. After we reached basecamp one there was a brief respite with a welcome decent before you came upon the split. At this point runners had to make the most difficult choice of the day. For those that opted for the normal run a bit of a treat was in the offering. A pleasant undulating run without the searing heat of a punishing sun interspersed with breath taking panoramas of rolling hills majestically rising out of the rain forest mists. (God I'm beginning to sound like Paul Smith). For the main part it was a lonely run with little opportunity to catch the pack. For many it was over two hours but the peaceful and scenic surroundings made it all worth the while. The front runner made it back one minute before the cut off time. Claims by Frank W that he was a front runner back before this time were summarily dismissed as the usual bullshit we've all heard before.
Most runners had earned a deserved beer. As the heart rate slowly stabilised smiles came back to faces as we witnessed enumerate failed launches of Don's weekly love lantern.
The circle commenced with a brief announcement by joint master Beano for all hashers to fess up to their true shirt sizes and not simply rely on Emilia and Nan to correct them on their behalf, particularly as they are still confused as to what six inches really is.
Angie took a D.D. for Mynn T who last week scared the crap out of runners by hoisting aloft a python coloured scarf and then wrapping it around her neck. It has to be noted that rather than running to her aid to thwart what was perceived to be her impending strangulation, everyone opted to keep a wide berth.
Chickenhead was the secret Bomoh who took the opportunity pick out the misdemeanours of runners as well as presumably some of his own. We were all informed of a recent diagnosis of Super Gonorrhoea, for which Gona Maria was duly charged. Saru we strongly suggest you will have him de flea'd and fumigated before he returns next week.
Afterwards Lawrence R took the opportunity to highlight the growing tendency of piss poor calling. With the able assistance of John L and Nan K, Frank W was shown how cheating front runners are able to call and communicate by way of sign language. Not surprisingly said demonstration quickly degenerated from communicate to fornicate ..... or for the want of better words f***king front runners.
We had a varied selection of guests. There was a significant contingent from Canada who sought to give a rendition of their national anthem but were rightfully shouted down and told to piss off. A courageous Kenyan lady who didn't know whether she was coming, going or staying out there for good, but did concede in the end it was an enjoyable experience and would be back again for more. Weird! The run was a sobering experience for two Geisha gals. Apparently the calls of Fuk Mee was not aimed at the terrain but was actually the name of her friend. Likewise they professed to have had a good time ... living proof that the kamikaze mentality still exists.
Five bachelors from Guangzhou hash who left a perfectly debaucherous country to come to a Muslim nation for a dirty weekend. Fortunately Gona Maria came to the rescue to sort out that cock up. The Groom to be took the opportunity to make his Bride to be jealous by having his mug shot taken with some of our best Petaling Totty. The visiting GM then gave us an insight into hashing in Guangzhou. Shirts were exchanged with our ex GM and the guys thanked us for the torture that they had just been put through.
Our hash once again suffered from dwindling beers. Canadian Barb took the opportunity to snaffle one of the last drinks and tried to steal a snog from the JM in the process.
The co-hares were a cast of thousands with some ex hash colleagues thrown in for good measure. It was very nice to see them back, and to see Gina's front. The weather and visitors had clearly conspired in the hare's favour. The run was judged a T-shirt with the help of a very vocal feel good factor from hashers. It also gave us the perfect excuse to encourage Gina to get her kit off.
All in all, a tortuous yet pleasant day out in what can best be described as a shitty ball breaker location.
On On to next week. BEANO