Scribe Reports

Run 1376 : 26 July 2003

Venue : Puncak Alam
Hare : Jimmy Leggett
Co-Hare : Magdalena Wszelaki
Scribe : Colin King – according to Nan

What does the polar bear in the Foxes Glacier Mint advert and Colin King have in common – answers on a post card to Colin King

They’re both lovely cuddly beast who like sweats? I don’t know On Sec, what is the answer?

So Colin, your writing are doing the scribe report says Snappy 1. But Terry and Robin were the hares, why aren’t they doing the scribe report? COLIN!!

So what do I remember of the Puncak Alam Patsy’s revenge run. Well I remember taking down the directions in a hurry and that they said new junction after toll. I of course took this literally and ending up taking the first slip road to nowhere where a new housing development was being built. After back-tracking I realised that the run site was where it always was and we headed into a very pleasant looking oil palm area. Noted that Chris Boyd had traded in his twin turbo 20 cam horse power Ferrari for a Hash Cherokee Jeep, far more fitting in my opinion.

The purpose of this run was for Jimmy Legover to train Magdalena in the fine arts of setting a run in which the main bulk of the pack (the pelaton as we Tour de France aficionados refer to it) come in before nightfall. Not withstanding the fact that the hare is a renowned outbacksman, the famous prairie dog James T Legup, the reputation of the co-hare had many of the runners secreting extra bottles of water, torches, powergel and condoms (what else do you do when you are stuck in the jungle all night with Patsy screaming “we’re all going to die!”). This is in addition to the embarrassing number of people now sporting Camelpacks on their backs – Eco Woosies!

It was very hot or so people kept telling me. In trepidation the pack set off into a spongy boggy area in the oil palm where the first check was called. This was broken forward and right and the trail went onto road, past a small holding and then I forget what happened. Oh, hang on, Peter Brooke warned me that a monster hill was coming up ahead, which it did, I think. Overall, the scenery was lovely and then we hit this check at a cross roads. Here the choice was either go ahead about 50 yards and turn left or turn left straight away and head down the road to home. Most people turned left down the road with the result that two packs running in parallel, one on the road and one inside the trees, headed back along a boringly long 2-3 km stretch (unfortunately, this is the bit that really sticks in my mind) which spilt into a decimated landscape and home.

A prior engagement meant that I had to leave before the circle proceedings got underway, but apparently the run was awarded a T shirt, which as much as dearly love the hare, was a load of crap. On down all the way. Thankfully, the useless experiment of asking a load of braying drunks at the On On whether they thought the run was any good or not has been abolished to return to the more objective assessment around the run site of what the run should be awarded. After all, the Hash isn’t the Hash unless you can upset people’s feelings – that part of the fun of it. Give that T shirt back Leggett! You piece of dog s?*$.

Run 1375 : 19 July 2003 Torchlight Run

Venue : Rawang Industrial Estate
Hare : Robin Cox
Co-Hare : Terry Gardner
Scribe : Hugh Murray

As nobody stepped forward and offered me a scribe report for the Torchlight Run, it has fallen on the On Sec to produce one himself.

Where to begin.

Perhaps at the April Committee Meeting when Emilia attending her very first PH3 Committee Meeting is volunteered to chair the organising committee and then find a set of volunteers (Nan, Elaine, Dave W. and Nancy C.)

Maybe it was about five weeks before the event when a group of us met on a Sunday Evening to sort out acts for the show (very difficult to watch the Grand Prix, Tennis drink and rehearse at the same time)

Maybe the Friday afternoon/evening before the event when a group of us turned up a Linatek to get the stage set-up etc. (Another late night by the time we packed up nobody fancied going on for a beer.)

But it was probably Saturday afternoon when we turned up at Rawang Industrial Estate to start registration. By 7:00pm over 200 hashers had turned up and were waiting for the ON-ON call. The Committee deemed that it was still too light for the call (The hares saying that only the first two checks needed any light – and it is a Torchight Run after all. ON-ON after briefing on :- not going in late, this run will be swept. That we have nice chemical lights at the third check onwards, and different colour lights at difficult places, was eventually called at about 7:20pm.

Now everybody knows Rawang Industrial Estate Area, and it is impossible to set a good run there and keep the pack together – not true if you choose a good hare and use a bit of darkness later on. Even the ON sec was there or thereabouts for the first five of six checks. The hares generally used back checks with false trails for the earlier checks that managed to invert the pack from front to back. They also got the single filing snake going down one side of the valley and up the other side (which also proved to be the circular where the back of the pack could cut across. The front runners were in just under an hour with the back of the pack and sweepers in in 1_ hours. Thanks to Robin Cox and Terry Gardener for setting a very enjoyable run.

It was then on to Part 2 of the proceedings at Linatek for makan, acts and disco.

With the last arrivals from the runsite not making an appearance until after 10:30, the acts did not get underway until 11:00pm. I am not able to comment much on the acts, as being involved in the second act, did not actually see the first or third acts. Caught the tango dancing last act. The first act was some erotic shadow dancing. The second act – the oldest swingers in town was a parody (or maybe a true story) of what Charles Lee, Terry Gardener and Paul Smith get up to at the Hard Rock Luck Café every Friday Night. Third act was Fuckawee and Friends in some musical gangster sketch. With the final act being a tango dancing contest – except the dancing didn’t count it was the position you and your partner assumed after the music stopped.

Then it was onto the disco – featuring the first appearance of the new PH3 music machine.

I believe the final people left about 4:00 am after clearing-up

Run 1374 : 12 July 2003

Venue : Emmerville Golf Club
Hare : Mike Sanders
Co-Hare : Paul Smith
Scribe : Robert Mullis

A surprisingly large number of Hashers made the journey down South to Emville. Whilst many regulars were resting as there was a minor sporting occurrence the following day – something to do with moons and balls – the real Petaling elite were joined by numerous guests. Some were kiasu Singaporeans taking advantage of REAL running country, unlike the concrete jungle they inhabit. Others were high powered salespersons trying to convince the world that – next to Cardiff – Changmai (where?) would be the place to hold the next Interhash. Nan humoured them but was worried that they had been let out without their minders! John Castlemaine complained about numerous references to a recent incident he and 10 other hashers were involved in. What could he have meant? The run started off under cloudy skies, no bad thing as the co-hare, Hash Shag, has earned a reputation for setting overlong, overhilly runs.

The first check was in the overgrown palm and after a falsie forward and left was broken back and right. Their was a distinct shortage of regular checkers but the old – mostly hairless – brigade seemed to be doing a good job. I did my bit and went forward right and so was abandoned as the rest moved off.

The next check caused some delay. Colin Hercus was sent to survey a distant hillside whilst the majority herded together and complained about the performance of the FROPS. Eventually broken forward and right we entered very mature rubber and blundered around there for a while.

We were then sent across a river, up the bank and – it seemed – onto the central reservation of the Seremban highway. The devoted coming from the Surau must have thought they’d died and gone to heaven, being surrounded by so many ‘virgins’. The rest of us wondered what the hell was going on.

We re-entered the foliage, a few tracks, a bit of oilpalm, the odd fruit tree, some more checks. You know what it’s like at this time in a run, all you want to do is get back, have a few beers and a chat. No. We were led up hills, down them, up fresh ones, alongside barbed wire fences etc. Listen hares, less is sometimes more!

Colin emerged first at 1hour 50 having shaken off Frank at the final check.

At the circle many were rightly punished for their sins, although Uncle Looi had disappeared before getting an on down for wearing a shirt on a run. Ah Wan had been seen beating himself with Birch twigs. He is either a confused Scandinavian or a recent Shi’ite convert. Colin Hercus was punished for trusting a Pom, Gudrun for legendary German meanness, Peter Brook for being the class sneak. Azlina was congratulated for carrying an entire survival kit throughout the entire run but it was explained that this is not necessary as long as you do not listen to John Castlemaine. Terry Gardener was punished for NOT running in his new shoes – surely a first there?

The on on was at a new (to me) restaurant, good food, plenty of it and cheap beer. In a desperate attempt to save face the hares subsidised the meal and this swung it with the soft-hearted crowd who kept the obligatory toilet seat locked away for another occasion. (No medal this time either, eh Paul?)

All in all a good day out.

Run 1374 : 12 July 2003 - Hare's Map

Venue : Emmerville Golf Club
Hare : Mike Sanders
Co-Hare : Paul Smith

As we have no actual report yet – the hare has contributed the following map.

In case your short of things to put in newsletter, attached is map of last sat hash run, and reccy trails !! Checks are marked as black dots. Power line in red and the highway in blue. The north loop was the first reccy; got lost in inprenetrable jungle between points 8-10, nearly poked my eye out and had to have 2 days off work as a consequence !