Venue : Broga
Hare : Nick Mason
Co-Hare : Colin King
Scribe : Jackie Braok
The run started with us hurtling via Cheras highway weaving through the traffics like a true Malaysian driver passing Peter Brooke, who not only was he with a Chu look-a-like but was dialing up someone’s number on his handphone while driving at 120kph at the same time.
Then it was a slow crawl through the narrow side road leading to the old Seremban road. Everybody, surprisingly even the Chinese, stayed faithfully in line while crawling along at 2kph then, surprised surprised, Peter Brooke appears out of one of the side lanes bulldozed his way back in the queue to emerged 5 cars ahead of us. Before that he was 5 cars behind us. Chu must have trained him really well on how to be a true Malaysian.
The next trick was the hash signed. Some ignored the sign pointing right at the curve in the middle of Broga town and went straight towards the temple. Now without prior warning of changed of run site, which one would you follow, hash newsletter or hash signs (without the “P” before the HHH) so no indication which chapter put the sign up? It provide for a lively debate for the evening. Knowing the collective IQ of the whole Petaling Chapter to be 200 it was not surprising that almost half the pack ignore the sign and follow the direction in the newsletter.
Arrived half an hour late so decided to do a mini shortcut to catch up with the pack and be at least in a position to report the run and stumbled upon the hares laying the home trail. So it was on the home trail but going in the opposite direction we come upon Fuehrer Wolfgang doing a leisure walk admiring the local vegetable garden that was dotted along the path.
Heard the pack off to the right so headed in that direction on hard top and joined them at the bottom of a hill which, from comments at the beer wagon, was climbed twice during the run. Over the hill and down rubber terraces on to some nice running tracks which brought us back through the gardens and on to the home trail.
Uncle Looi caused some speculation when seen accompanying a young lady from Sweden?? and discussing seamen (variety not determined) for which he got an on down as were the hares for changing the runsite without notice. On On at the Kajang prison for the gwailo favorites of sweet and sour fish, lemon chicken and yam basket. Overall the run was judged a T-shirt.
Venue : Pangsum
Hare : Jackie Braok
Co-Hare : Dave Pendlebuly
Scribe : Mother Sheep
Having arrived at the runsite in heavy rain, it was a surprise to find this clear-up before 4:30pm, leaving a dry but cooler than normal run.
4:30pm arrived with no sign of the GM or JM’s so being the senior committee member present decided to circle-up pack and start the run, at which point just before I called ON ON the GM arrives and denies me my moment of glory.
ON ON was called and it was back down the road a few hundred meetings before ascending up a track into the orchard area where a U-turn in the paper led quickly to the first check. The check was actually cleared very quickly by one of the FROP’s but then called a false trail – leading to the whole pack meandering around other areas, in vain, trying to locate the true trail. By the time the ON ON call down and left from the check, your scribe was way out left and up from the check. This resulted in trying to cut across to the pack only to be foiled by secondary jungle. In the end I had no choice to climb back to the check and follow the pack as last man in. (Actually I could have gone straight up the hill until crossed paper, but short cutting would not allow me to describe the run accurately) Consequently I have no more experience of the checks as I slowly made my way back up the pack.
From the first check the trail descended all the way back down the hill, single file width, but this did not bother me here as I was single, to within 20m of the road. It was then single file, very steep uphill in secondary jungle. Caught the back of the pack here and it was obvious because of this terrain that the pack will be well strung out with little chance that it would ever regroup again.
Having reached the top of the hill and broken out of the secondary jungle (believe there was a check near here) it was all the way down again to the road, along the road and then back up hill again. Knowing that we were going clockwise and would have to go up higher than the last hill. This is when John Castleman’s dulcet tones of ON UP can be a little annoying for stating the obvious, but also very useful if lost!
Eventually we break out on a horizontal, well up and down, track across the hillside, reaching the pipelines. At the second pipeline with the track alongside and now 1 hour 40 into the run it was tempting to follow my advice to others and follow the track straight down hill to the cars. But I am a dedicated scribe and inflicted further torture on myself and turned left and commenced climbing again into another big loop that took about 30 minutes to complete before ending up lower down on the same track mentioned above. 10 more minutes to home. The run took me 2 hours 20 minutes, but was not surprised to hear that FROP in 1 hour 27 minutes as it was evidently apparent if you got to the front you could move quicker without the hindrance of the considerable amount of single filing required.
It was decided not to have a circle on site, partly because of the rugby, but mainly because the hares had chosen a run site in a Kampong, near the mosque and had not got permission. The pack was especially requested by the GM (before she left for Rugby) to ensure that no litter was left behind. LITTER WAS LEFT BEHIND – Cans, Bottles and empty peanut bags. This is probably another run site that cannot be used by Petaling or other hashes because of the inconsiderate nature of a few of our members. Thank you Kana Besar for calming the upset locals when everyone had left the site.
The ON ON was held at Hulu Langat Seafood Restaurant & Beer Garden, where the hares after numerous reminders had promised the pack that the rugby would be shown. When we arrived the Karaoke was in full blast, and things did not look promising, however after about five minutes things were sorted out, Karaoke was switched off and the tables set up close to the TV, but not before some had left for elsewhere.
Sometime during the rugby we managed to consume a six course meal. So with England 25 South Africa 6 and a final whistle the circle was called. In the absence of the GM, who having ascertained that we had rugby at the ON ON had decided to watch it elsewhere, it fell to yours truly to run the Circle. With the following people being called in to the circle
Leaving Petaling again - Paul & Meg Novocco – best of luck in Australia
Returnees - Debra Parry, Greg Bridstock and Len (the hands) Potter. This is the order they stood in as there was no way that Debra was going to stand next door to Len.
Returnees – The Gardener family represented by Richard
Virgins
Guest – Leatherback the GM for East Grinsted promoting his pre-ramble for next years interhash.
Hares Jackie and David where the run was judged an ON DOWN
Len Potter back up to sing us a few welsh songs.
Arnie – for leaving behind the two largest items found at the run site - his chairs. Should never have given him a beer for this sin – as he forgot them again and they are now filling up the back of my car.
The ON Sec for forgetting his lines.
Terry Gardener – for serving Port and Stilton Cheese at the run site. A delicacy that he describes as “for English Gentlemen” – so why did he give it the Germans and ignore your pining ON Sec.
The evening ended with a rendition by all of that excellent hash song “Swing Low” and nobody mentioned that it just happens to be the English Rugby Anthem.
Triple ON was called for the backyard. I did not attend and have heard nothing of the proceedings.
ON ON
ON ON was called and it was back down the road a few hundred meetings before ascending up a track into the orchard area where a U-turn in the paper led quickly to the first check. The check was actually cleared very quickly by one of the FROP’s but then called a false trail – leading to the whole pack meandering around other areas, in vain, trying to locate the true trail. By the time the ON ON call down and left from the check, your scribe was way out left and up from the check. This resulted in trying to cut across to the pack only to be foiled by secondary jungle. In the end I had no choice to climb back to the check and follow the pack as last man in. (Actually I could have gone straight up the hill until crossed paper, but short cutting would not allow me to describe the run accurately) Consequently I have no more experience of the checks as I slowly made my way back up the pack.
From the first check the trail descended all the way back down the hill, single file width, but this did not bother me here as I was single, to within 20m of the road. It was then single file, very steep uphill in secondary jungle. Caught the back of the pack here and it was obvious because of this terrain that the pack will be well strung out with little chance that it would ever regroup again.
Having reached the top of the hill and broken out of the secondary jungle (believe there was a check near here) it was all the way down again to the road, along the road and then back up hill again. Knowing that we were going clockwise and would have to go up higher than the last hill. This is when John Castleman’s dulcet tones of ON UP can be a little annoying for stating the obvious, but also very useful if lost!
Eventually we break out on a horizontal, well up and down, track across the hillside, reaching the pipelines. At the second pipeline with the track alongside and now 1 hour 40 into the run it was tempting to follow my advice to others and follow the track straight down hill to the cars. But I am a dedicated scribe and inflicted further torture on myself and turned left and commenced climbing again into another big loop that took about 30 minutes to complete before ending up lower down on the same track mentioned above. 10 more minutes to home. The run took me 2 hours 20 minutes, but was not surprised to hear that FROP in 1 hour 27 minutes as it was evidently apparent if you got to the front you could move quicker without the hindrance of the considerable amount of single filing required.
It was decided not to have a circle on site, partly because of the rugby, but mainly because the hares had chosen a run site in a Kampong, near the mosque and had not got permission. The pack was especially requested by the GM (before she left for Rugby) to ensure that no litter was left behind. LITTER WAS LEFT BEHIND – Cans, Bottles and empty peanut bags. This is probably another run site that cannot be used by Petaling or other hashes because of the inconsiderate nature of a few of our members. Thank you Kana Besar for calming the upset locals when everyone had left the site.
The ON ON was held at Hulu Langat Seafood Restaurant & Beer Garden, where the hares after numerous reminders had promised the pack that the rugby would be shown. When we arrived the Karaoke was in full blast, and things did not look promising, however after about five minutes things were sorted out, Karaoke was switched off and the tables set up close to the TV, but not before some had left for elsewhere.
Sometime during the rugby we managed to consume a six course meal. So with England 25 South Africa 6 and a final whistle the circle was called. In the absence of the GM, who having ascertained that we had rugby at the ON ON had decided to watch it elsewhere, it fell to yours truly to run the Circle. With the following people being called in to the circle
- Leaving Petaling again - Paul & Meg Novocco – best of luck in Australia
- Returnees - Debra Parry, Greg Bridstock and Len (the hands) Potter. This is the order they stood in as there was no way that Debra was going to stand next door to Len.
- Returnees – The Gardener family represented by Richard
- Virgins
- Guest – Leatherback the GM for East Grinsted promoting his pre-ramble for next years interhash.
- Hares Jackie and David where the run was judged an ON DOWN
- Len Potter back up to sing us a few welsh songs.
- Arnie – for leaving behind the two largest items found at the run site - his chairs. Should never have given him a beer for this sin – as he forgot them again and they are now filling up the back of my car.
- The ON Sec for forgetting his lines.
- Terry Gardener – for serving Port and Stilton Cheese at the run site. A delicacy that he describes as “for English Gentlemen” – so why did he give it the Germans and ignore your pining ON Sec.
The evening ended with a rendition by all of that excellent hash song “Swing Low” and nobody mentioned that it just happens to be the English Rugby Anthem.
Triple ON was called for the backyard. I did not attend and have heard nothing of the proceedings.
ON ON
Venue : Ulu Yam Football Field
Hare : Tan Ay Lih
Co-Hare : David Wilson
Scribe : Colin King
Having weathered abominable traffic around the smart hole at the old air field eventually got to the run site. Think to myself, hope England stuff the bloody Africaans, hope it isn’t a long run or will have trouble getting back in time. Run was bloody long so got off run site late, inexplicably heavy traffic around Cheras (other than usual cheap Charlie road planning that solves nothing) so miss first half of England taking the piss out of South Africa in the rugby.
Oh hang on, wrong weekend!
Arrived in the hired zippy Cambara, a piece of locally designed shit that is unlikely to penetrate car markets worldwide. Can’t wait to see Jeremy Clarkson assess this one. “Given the choice between the Cambara and a donkey, the donkey would win any time!” However, a the rain had caused a little bit of mud at the entrance to the estate, a number of A+ whimps had parked their cars outside for fear of getting stuck in a little squidgy stuff. A small chug up the slope and even the Cambara made it without any fuss whatsoever.
Reasonably crowd of people had gathered for the run, though many had absconded to the Pan Asia meeting, including the GM. Given the choice of Ulu Yam and Bukit Kiara, I knew where I would rather be. Run was set off by On Sec Huge into the surrounding oil palm. What I remember of the run was going up a stream and hearing someone call on on to left. With the paper continuing up stream this seemed rather strange so plodded on. Eventually, a check was reached by a wooden bridge. Whoever had arrived before us and had been heard calling further back along the trail had been thoughtful enough not to join the paper so that we could have 20 minutes of fun finding it again. Once this was called on, life was made a little bit more interesting when my lad jumped on the bridge at which point it collapsed into the water. You see, that’s the trouble with Malaysia, no maintenance!
The remainder of the trail was the usual meandering around the very pleasant oil palm terraces and back to the run site. The run was a bit shorter than most runs, FROP’s coming in around the 1 hour mark. Checks were not that stressful and easily broken but nevertheless, the run was enjoyable all the same.
Patrick Russell called the circle to order where amongst other misdemeanours Terry Gardener lookalike, John Duncan, was on downed for supporting Newcastle United, a football team comprising rapists or willing group sexual athletes, depending on your point of view. Meanwhile, Huge had been donning his Red Dress outfit for the following week. The idea was that the outfit should make you look somewhat trans-sexual, though in Huge’s case, for some reason, it almost looked like the sort of thing he wore to work every day.
Believe the run was awarded an On Down though I could not make it to Restoran Usual as my son was badgering me for McDonalds.
Venue : Broga
Hare : Terry Gardener
Co-Hare : Colin King / Nick Mason
Scribe : Phil Doyle
Good place for a run is Broga, although a fair distance from the City.
Colin King's usual haunt and I was not surprised of the choice of site when I saw the Hare's name.
The drive to the site was a little tortuous through the narrow winding roads, but also a good adventure on a Saturday, adds to the sense of occasion.
A pleasant run through some open territory to start with, and across a little stream. Lots of people wandering off in search of a dry crossing to save feet from getting wet. Needn't have bothered, for it was not long before we were all into the river for a few 100 metres.
Rocks were slippery and Phil Surridge could be seen doing a little tap dance on the moss.
The trail was a pleasant meander through banana trees and open spaces and then into
the rubber.
The pack was well together during the first part of the run. I was waiting for the hills but mercifully they were not the usual King Everest type. More suitable for a family outing, gentle slopes really. Mind you I am not complaining, remembering runs past when a piece of horizontal terrain was a rarity on a "Dynamite" run.
I followed paper like a lot of others when Greg Dall emerged from a trail on the road and said that we had all missed a 3 km loop.
Roger Gregson who also missed the loop went back to find it. Some mothers do ave em.
At that point I thought it was going to be short run but it was not and it turned out to be the usual Saturday length.
A lot of trekking through rubber which was OK and a few hills, there did not seem to be anything really special to travel so far for the run.
Returned to the run site and congratulated Telly, the other half of the "Dynamite"
team and Telly was able M explain how the run worked, and how we went along the orchard fence and this bit could not be left out of the run etc.
On on at the dog restaurant, good food and enough of it. Good day had by all.
Nan canvassed the crowd for the verdict and under those terms it is not surprising that a T shirt was given. Mob rules seem always to be more generous with their verdicts of runs.
In normal circumstances it would have been a good on down or perhaps an on down. Glad to see the return to T shirts being given for E for effort, it is a real crowd pleaser.
On On
Venue : Kajang Shooting Range
Hare : Amy Tiong
Co-Hare : Uncle Looi
Scribe : Yves Boudart
Now I can say that I hate shooting ranges: the bang of a gun, contrarily to the public idea on the subject, doesn’t sound like the male THX noise in the Schwartzeneger movies, but actually reminds me of the squeaky voice of Barbara Streisand today (not in her golden years…) when she has a stuffy nose. That was the only negative thing I had to say about this run!
The run site indications first: 3 lines may seem short, but actually, following these reminded me of my driving test. When the instructor says nothing, go straight!
The way to the run site: the location of this concrete tunnel in the middle of nowhere was so absurd that I was a little disappointed not to see an hippopotamus in a tutu dancing ballet at the end of it…
The run started a few minutes past 4.30, Nan, probably hoping to see Uncle Looi appear despite his firm position on the subject (no more polemics in this report, I promise), lectured us on the “no litter” aspect of the Hash. The herd started at a gentle pace along the dusty road that passed along a fishing pond, then along a nice sungei on a tree covered earth road until we reached a small kampong (very very very Ulu, lah!), where the only inhabitants at that time of the day seemed to be a few stray dogs and old cocks (no, John Duncan and Uncle Looi were not there).
Right after this settlement, came the first check: one way, 3 possibilities! The one up river was to be followed. The herd thus entered into a gentle jungle trail following a sinewy sungei, under brightly lit foliages. The papers then resolutely entered into the river in what I can only describe as a reproduction of the Idea of the Perfect Jungle. The kind only properly rendered in the Tarzan Movies featuring Johnny Weissmuler: mossy green boulders, wide banana leafs, sunshine playing in the trees, thornless vegetation (in order not to damage the bare feet of the American Athlete), leechlacking stream,… Only the gigantic plastic water lilies were missing! This paradise eventually sublimated into a pond and a waterfall… An excellent preparation for the hell that was laying ahead.
Indeed, the trail ended and we started to pant on an interestingly steep hill. Fortunately, there was the second check at mid slope. As a testosterone boosted Rambo pointed out: the only way was up, and the climbing resumed for another eternity. Dan Parcival, resting on a flat stone at the top of the hill, noticing that I was all blue in the face said that this hill was a well diserved payback for my sins of last week… I also need to mention that during this portion of the run, there was no need to stay on paper! Staying on the thorns, needles and other nasty spikes was amply sufficient, and if against all odds you managed to get lost, you could easily find your way back following the screams! I am still waiting for the benefits of this free acupuncture session, and I am also still removing shards in the oddest parts of my anatomy.
We then arrived at what looked like a mischievous circular check. I was definitely not in the front of the pack, as some runners had already been around this loop 3 times… Someone then found a trail that, like perfect “Panurge Lambs”, we all followed: a nice falsee! We eventually resumed the trail uphill: this one was a piece of cake compared to the previous one, which gave me the opportunity to regain strength for a jolly gallop downhill in the rubber tree plantation that we then crossed. The gallop halted abruptly on the last check (only 4??? Did I miss one???). Apparently, after this gallop, I was again in the front, so I decided to take my chance and went checking on the right, gaining in confidence as I was quickly being followed by Alex and Abraham… I realized that I was far from being as fit as our legendary FROPs when after a good 500m in that direction, I decided to fall back, to realize that the check had been broken in the opposite direction, and that all the Chinese grannies (sorry gals…) were again in front of me.
The trail then went in an open terrain with a decidedly very scenic view that eventually ended up on the building site where we had previously met with the incongruity of this cement tunnel.
The run ended, after a gentle downhill logging road through the forest surrounding the run site, on the dusty road back to the cars… 73 minutes on my watch!
And what a good surprise to receive hampers besides Ramlee’s fierce Tigerish mount! I even tried to bribe Amy to get more, but she sticked to her principles and refused to get down to these kind of practices! To tell you the truth, I did not need to be bribed as the run was a very good one: diversified, not too tough for Petaling (…), new run site (for me!), scenic and with a good workout.
The circle had, again, the lost souls presented to the assembly: these martyrs seem to be bound to a down-down per week until the end of time. Fortunately for us, Colin King did not show up, or else we wouldn’t have had enough ice to freshen our beer (prosecuting his butt seems to be the second very recurrent theme of this year’s circles).
I did not stay for the on-on, so I cannot comment on the quality of food (probably flawless, I trust Uncle Looi on this matter), and thus did not get to know the “rating” of this run. But I am confident that the committee has abided to its just principles of run evaluation.
On On Amy!”