Hare: Les Sposito
Location: Vicinity Serendah
Scribe Graham Davidson
Hmmm
It was long (very long). It rained prior to the Run but had stopped by the
time run started at 4.30pm. Hence it was a very cool running day, which was
lucky considering the length. It also rained a lot after the run from about
7pm until the following Wednesday.
There were about 8 checks. Paul Smith broke 5 in a row (lucky Hash Shag).
This really pissed me off because it meant I was always checking in the
wrong direction and hence making a long run even longer.
There was a jungle section early on in the run. It had to be the worst
prepared jungle section I have ever seen. I don't think the hare owns a
parang because he had made no effort to cut a path and enable the pack to
run. Pathetic and needed a down down for this fact alone.
First runner home in about 2 hrs 15 mins. Must have been at least 12 kms
(for Paul Smith) and about 14 kms for those (like me) who did all their
checking in the opposite direction.
Location: Kundang Jaya
Hares: Ugly Mike/Cock Knocker/Botak Sage
Scribe: Les Sposito
Occasion: St George’s Day Run
We all headed north on the North-South Highway to Rawang singing stirring English songs; we went through the toll thinking of everything England had given the world; and we all turned up at the run site and parked in an orderly English fashion next to Terry with his flying English flags and sitting on his blow-up armchair. We had sunny English summertime weather for the occasion – what a wonderful English start to a wonderful St. George’s Day run...
Nan kick-started everyone off (due to our illustrious American GM turning up late. Not only did he turn up late, but he then tripled parked across the road Malaysian style in his Malaysian Wira)...............all very un-English, this!
And so it was On-On. Across the muddy plains we trekked, then up a steep hill - to sort the men from the boys - and atop to the first check. This was quickly broken followed by much single filing, in an orderly English fashion, through the jungles and rubber plantations……… on through another 4 checks with the usual cunning falsies to throw us off the scent.
After the river, we arrived at the English hospitality tent where we were greeted by Cock Knocker and Botak Sage to enjoy refreshments in the form of G&T’s, Pimms No.1 Cup, and ‘Devonshire Cream Teas’ (unfortunately these were unavailable at the time and replaced by melon handouts); all much needed rocket fuel to complete the Long Run for those of us who dared. The alternative Short Run led directly over the final hill and back to the Guinness wagon. The Long Run continued left following the river and then across a bridge where we were met by a long brown grass snake writhing all over the place and blocking the road. To avoid ‘Hissing Sid’ we took a wide berth and headed up the hill to the next check. This was followed by much running in the sun to achieve that well known English Red glow to our faces, and up another hill for the final check which was broken by Jane Trane. She was swiftly overtaken by Fierce Gay Boy racing Stefan to the finishing line. Needless to say, not wishing to wiggle his arse in front of Stefan, Fierce Gay Boy came second.
In true English style, Ugly Mike followed the Hash trail clearing the paper to avoid littering the estate and then presented glorious ‘English Empire Red’ shirts to the gents and vests to the ladies.
The Circle was called where, among other minor charges, we discovered that our Australian cousin - Graham – who, lacking good old fashioned English stamina (and having stitched everyone up 2 weeks ago with a run of Everest proportions), wimped out and selected the Short Run instead claiming he always wanted to know what one looked like!
On-On was at the Chin Hiong Restaurant where a magnificent turn-out gathered comprising 8 tables - well done everybody. And this with only 3 guests present!
The Triple-On was held with kind permission at Paul and Nancy Kirkham’s English Castle where there was much merriment; munching of traditional cockles in vinegar, crunching of pork scratchings (for all those non-Halal followers out there), and quaffing of English Tetley’s beer - all accompanied by great English Music. A final circle was called resulting in the run being graded a T-shirt run….…well done fellas!
The evening was made complete by Liverpool (wearing their traditional English Red coloured shirts) thrashing Chelsea at Stamford Bridge to win a place in the prestigious English FA Cup Final.
On-On
Suppository
Location: Bandar Technoloji, Kajang
Hares: Colin Hercus / Maya
Scribe: Chu2
Those natural forces, which concoct fiercely hot sunshine, are notoriously fickle – this week they were kind – perfect weather for hashing – and a feeling of déjà vu – at the shop houses, Bandar Technologi.
The usual suspects gathered – along with token “best friends”. Come the magic hour, the GM waves two lots of paper at us – Kajang HHH are also running here today – now this often causes complete turmoil but today’s run was uneventful in terms of people wandering off on wrong paper – in fact even John Duncan found his way home this time – proving that practise does make perfect……..long run to the first check - quickly broken, the trail headed off into old rubber and some fruit trees. A circular trail at this point brought the pack together. More running (it was a runner’s run) and the first of a coupe of nasty falsies was called. The trail continued through more oil palm, secondary bush and then skirting the dragon fruit farm – in fact through the rubber on the boundaries of the farm, then back into the oil palm – and a long stretch of runnable trails. Having said that it seems that the hare had found a section that needed a parang – and for some reason tried to cut off three of his fingers – maybe trying to get some speed advantage for future runs by losing some weight – or maybe it was Maya that had the parang – and he was just protecting his manhood. All in all a good T-shirt run with some slippery bits – and plenty of brown backsides – Ben’s being the most spectacular. The circle was duly called and various charges ensued – which seemed to be mostly dominated by cripples – an image not helped by Colin K’s wandering in and out of the circle in quasimodo style –even Paul Smith seemed to sympathise and actually managed a quite good cripple look-alike – although Celine with her double handful of crutches looked the most authentic. Anyway we had something about dogs, spilt beer, a brace of new shoes from New York, loyal Guinness Khoo, aggressive Les, Graham and Sen for wearing underpants in the circle, speedy Celine on her go-faster crutches and finally Hugh the bad father.
On On – ask aggressive Les. On3 – backyarding or walling – sorry yours truly was otherwise engaged. Another great PH3 run – thanks hares.