Hare Keng Guan Chen
Place Km 162 on the old Ipoh Road
There is always plenty of parking at this run site with easy access into the rubber plantation. While this was a virgin hare run it was known that he had enlisted Rambo as co-hare so no one was expecting a short run.
Some Hashes have a tradition of the GM leading the pack out to the first check. This isn’t possible at Petaling as the GM was seen to be short cutting even before the first check (and in the wrong direction). When the first check was called I was on the other side of the valley with Graham Woods and Gary Murrell, both of whom claimed to be able to interpret where the trail would be leading next. Following their sound advice a group of us proceeded down the valley catching up with Wolfgang who was leading his entire family astray. Eventually I was forced to concede defeat with our route and follow the family Druba as they bashed down the terraces back onto the trail.
At the next check I was once again on the wrong side of a valley. Knowing the co-hare’s propensity for water I dropped down into the stream to find a good set of fresh footprints in the sand. Encouraged I followed the stream to find the expected paper. Now being FROP I had the pleasure of running down a crystal clear stream. A change from my usual position in the pack which means I only see stirred up muddy water hiding unexpectedly deep pools. After coming out on a clear cut area that was contributing to the recent haze as it still smouldered away and Zig Zaging up the hill I was caught by Barry Sage and Dave Settergren. We again saw the short cutting GM ahead of us, once more ignoring paper. The paper could clearly be seen dropping down a ravine and then going up the cleared area to some remaining trees on the top of the ridge. Not wanting to waste height by crossing the ravine, and being sure there was a check at the top of the ridge, I tried to be clever and headed to the top of the valley hoping to find paper. No paper meant a climb up the ridge to the anticipated check. Unfortunately that meant climbing up through a field of waist high saw grass leaving me with multiple cuts to my legs. Next time follow the paper. The hare took everyone over the ridge and after bashing down my own trail I eventually found the pack crossing another stream below the ridge.
By this time my brief spell as FROP and the Hokkien Mee I had inadvisably had for a late lunch were taking their toll so my stamina was beginning to fade.
The next check was once more in a stream where a local couple were trying to have a discrete bath while surrounded by a milling pack. Colin Hercus later complained that the lady kept on sending him in the wrong direction. I think all she wanted was some privacy in her al fresco bathroom.
After climbing through the rubber we came on another check which proved disconcerting. The On-call was along the side of the hill. The pack followed little pieces of torn paper for at least 500m along overgrown rubber terraces and I was beginning to get concerned that whoever was laying the paper was leading us astray. Luckily the trail proper had been running parallel on the ridge and we successfully rejoined paper.
My recollection of the rest of the trail is limited apart from being surprised by a passing visitor sporting an alternative hash kit looking more like a tailored football strip complete with studded shoes.
Apparently the first runner in was just under 1 hour 40 minutes so a short run by Rambo’s standards. When I arrived back 5 minutes later the short cutting GM was already home and muttering about a 10 weeker. As Hugh has nearly finished his year and he had yet to give out a penalty run he thought this was the day.
At this point the Hare’s generous donation of a pig trundled onto the site.
I did not make it to the On On but later met up with the Hash at the Triple On in the Backyard, Hugh amongst them. (He was allowed out this weekend as Win was in China spending his money). It turned out he had listened to the wiser council of other hashers and awarded the run a T-shirt.
Well done to the Virgin Hare! (and Rambo)
Hare: John Dodgson
Venue: Bkt Tagar (Just off Junction 119) Batang Berjuntai
Scribe: Wolfgang Druba
As I was told, it was a hot day and the run was off on time....a lot of running in a relatively flat area..oil palm...just one gentle hill and then a long home trail...front runners back after 1>30 and no one got lost but some shortcutters got a transport back on a friendly farmers trailer.
Ohh yes, that reminds me on that topic of shortcutting and eventually getting lost. How can that happen?
Shortcutting is the high art of hashing. Seasoned hashers dont do it necessarily to run a shorter distance but trying to outsmart the hare. SCB's like to make a good guess, how the hare is setting the run, perhaps also to fool blindfolded front runners who have sometimes no clue where home is. Its gambling...sort of.
Now, shortcutting as a hash newbie will end in a disaster> it requires a good sense of direction as well as experience what might be a possible trail in the given terrain.
Ridges, rivers, natural contours are a safe bet to follow. Once under a dense tree cover, directions will get blurr and easily you may walk in circles. Frustration starts and you tend to make desperate decisions. You are then ending up somewhere totally out of the runsite...impossible for a search team to find you.
Perhaps some basic safe countermeasures not to get lost or at least to find your way back, if you dont use a GPS >
Once you leave paper, just bear in mind the directions you came from the runsite. If you guess the run goes clockwise, just follow that guess to hit paper again. Stay inside the run-circle. Do not meander and change that main direction, because then it may be impossible to find your way back.
If you end at a dense jungle or too deep ravine to cross or a too steep hill to climb, simply turn back and admit your defeat.
If it is 6.00pm and you are still not back on paper or definitely not close to the runsite, your plan B shall start>>
TURN BACK! Walk back to the last paper. Backtracking will be faster then your way forward and you should be back on paper in not more then 1/2 hour or max 45 min. At that time its still daylight. At 7.00 its dark under tree cover, at 7.30 its pitch dark. If at that time you are not on a main road nor on paper...then you are in deep shit.Yes...you fucked up!
Say, its pitch dark and you are on paper, but paper ends. Perhaps there was a check before and you cannot find the new trail > STAY and wait! Approximatley at 10>00pm the search team will go in. On paper they will find you quickly.
Say, its pitch dark and you are lost in an estate, far off paper. Then stay on the biggest possible path and follow that. If you come to a junction, choose the most frequented path or road. It will end up somewhere at the estate entrance. But it may be a distance to walk.
Say you are on no path and have absolutely no clue where paper was, then..
Option 1> if there is a ridge, follow that up. It is easier then to hear the horn of a search team than in a valley. A good OnOn shout carries far at night in open area.
Option 2> if there's a stream, follow that. It will lead you to civilasation eventually. But it can be challenging to climb over fallen trees or blocked passages. Its dark, its scary, its Rambo style and not for the cowards.
Option 3> call 911
"There are times in life where one is responsible for himself. Hashing is one of that."
Hare: Ima Druba
Co-Hares: a few Germans vs 60 [no-where-go-over-CNY-weekend] Hounds
Venue: Sg Jernih Estate (Kerling-Lembah Beringin Bypass)
Scribe: Tar Fei Chee for KhooSK
German Masterpiece 2-in-1Run Rehash
It was the two German officers [Wolfgang & Knut] campaigning efforts over the last couple of weeks which saw a sizeable PH3 crowd for this Chinese New Year(CNY) long-weekend holiday run, they promised what was to be a German masterpiece and a run not to be forgotten.
Perhaps, out of curiosity and to humour these German renegades, about 50plus hashers assembled at the run-site way before 0430pm [as ordered by the strict German instructions]. But being lackadaisical PH3 members were seen driving/riding in at 0445pm and later. Noticeable missing were senior PH3 Committee members plus numerous disciples who were away at their half-yearly Nenasi Camp for soul cleansing, over-indulgence and spending quality-time with –the-family pilgrimage. Being the CNY period, the Chines kept away on family and filial piety obligations. Nonetheless, we were quite surprised by a sizeable Chinese representation on this 3rd Day of CNY, namely in; Dennis, Shirley, Rambo, Chuck-Wow, CKLeong, ChooNaiKong, KwaiHoong, ChuChu. Plus celop-Chines HelenChiam, SharonDeSouza and MdNor & Nadia.
The Hare and her German co-hares put tremendous amount of time & effort into organizing this run. Two runs; the LongRun which is the usual PH3 [A-to-A] HashRun (12.8km length), whilst the ShortRun was a [B-to-A] HashRun (8km length). A chartered bus will take those ShortRun hashers to a pre-determined RV point to start off the run up to a water-melon stop (mid-point), to intercept the LongRun papers. Lots of planning and recce by the hare and her co-hares [hot gossips; since then, we hear there is a divorce brewing in the air and a celebrating PR Malaysian/German is avail, we also know that CLeng is not even the co-respondent] in this relatively new hashing area for PH3. Four years ago, some PH3 members will recall running through this area during the annual Ball-breaker Run organized by another HashChapter, The LongRun started off at 0422pm, while the bus left for its pre-determine off-load point at 0445pm, the ShortRun hashers arrived to start off their run at 0505pm. It was later reported that that the LongRun was relatively easier than the ShortRun as the latter had to endure up two very steep climb up the bukits (hills) to catch up with the LongRun papers. Plenty of checks, and equally plenty of panting and tired legs hashers , LongRun FROP in David Heartbreaker, LaurenceVegeRenshaw and AndyLoh at 0650pm. And the ShortRun FROP were Bryan a guest, ChuChu in at 0701pm. Everyone got home with the last of the of daylight at 0735pm, so we thought.
All in all, a very highly commendable effort by the hare and her co-hares, and the hashers did truly enjoyed a very hot & dry and hard work-out, They all masochistically enjoyed it. Well done the Drubas.
Hash Circle
As it was fast getting dark, the circle was called and conducted by Don Chuck-Wow, standing in for the away GM.
CarloPangrazio was boxed for shying away from duty, did not cut the grass at the run-site where the beer wagon was to be for the circle. The Hare and her co-hares were cheered for a very commendable effort in setting two novelty runs in a new PH3 Hash area. Half way through the proceeding, we were informed that there is a familiar motorbike park behind the beer wagon, and a quick search around were realized that Dan the Dadahman is still out in the run. Apparently he arrived at the run-site at 0500pm, thus having only the LongRun to tee off at 0510pm. Its de-ja-vous with Dan, he justified it; having to do Saturday morning Church obligatory handyman-works, motorbike could only do max 50mph, no time watch or GPS, and why-must-PH3-starts-their-run-at-0430pm so early each week, thus not allowing him to be on time.
On On
As Dan the Dadahman was still out, Silverfox Robin and MaiKowChai Terry volunteered to stay behind at the run-site to await Dan’s return, while the rest of hashers headed to the ONON restaurant in Kerling town centre [next to the only petrol station] by 0845pm. Ron & Helen sat on the same table with us, but Ron sure did not look well. Had to call in sick and Helen took him home after 2x 650paracetemols.
Three adult plus 1 kids table graced the evening. Guest in Damien, Bryan and voluptuous Chine Chantal, the Pangarazio were given welcome-on-down. Hare was awarded a T-shirt run which she showed the cheering crowd what massive WMD endowment she possessed. However our sweet Chine guest Chantel did us Chinese proud with her equally spectacular long limbs & aquatic lungs, and her futuristic Hash outfit. ChuChu and the girls; back to the drawing room to come with equally challenging outfit.
We called it an early evening by 1030pm . as we had to go back to the run-site to organized a Search and Rescue (SAR) effort as no report that Dan was out yet...
Search and Rescue (SAR)
Lost: Recalcitrant late comer/starter Dan the Dadah-man Percival
By 1030pm after the OnOn, and Dan was reported still not out, it's confirmed that he was lost thus will require SAR initiative.
Even with 3 tables of adults at the OnOn, the number of volunteers for the SAR party was very encouraging. We managed three(3) SARteams plus 1 HomeBase team at the run-site;
Team A – WolfgangDruba, GaryWaring and guest Damien.
Team B – KnutHerzer, CarloPangarazio and Barry Sage.
Team C – RamboChan, DennisChin and ShirleyTan.
HomeBase – Hare Ima, Terry MaiKowChai, Silverfox Robin, Don Chuck-Wow, EmilliaCharles, AuntyMabel plus children Nadia Druba, Dianna Druba and Pangarazio jr.
Two search teams fanned out at 1115om in ‘pincer-formation,’ with another entering at the ShortRun drop off point (Hindu temple at Ladang Sungai Gapi East). They were all instructed to proceed and meet up at the Water-melon stop (mid-point of the run), and an-hour-out-and-return-to-Base guideline. As we were located deep in the forested/plantation valley, signal reception on our mobile phones were intermittent, hence tele-communication was restrictive. HomeBase Team sat around their vehicles parked at the edge of the open field; chatting and looking up into the beautiful heavenly night sky of stars. Terry’s vehicle parking-lights were our source of lightings for the evening. Terry and Robin were serenading each other with beers and more beers, with holy smelly cheese as chasers.
We waited, and waited. Past mid-night, a bright car light was coming from the main road, then small pencil beam lights were heading towards the Base. Lord and behold, Dan walked in at 0020am, were we relieved that he was well and fine. Apparently he got lost and eventually found himself at the Estate Manager’s doorstep, knocked on the door, and the surprised manager and his family who were very understanding and hospitable. Offered rehydration, some snacks and the use of his mobile phone. And the manager himself offered to drive Dan back to the run-site which was a 30 minute ride. We now had problem getting through to the Search Teams to inform them that that Dan was out. In the meant time we rehydrated and fed Dan with some light snacks. There were very vocal and heated accusation/argument between Dan and the Home Team that had the hare and Hash ensured that there were different types of papers for the long and Short Run respectively, Dan himself would not have been confused when he backtracked after it got dark and unable to find connecting papers at Check 5. Dan was adamant that he was led ‘astray’ by confusing identical square papers for both the runs at the water-melon stop (mid-point), and was unapologetic to cause this SAR initiative, it was a status quo situation. The night had been long and the air was getting chilly, we let hot heads cool off for another day confrontation.
Eventually all the Search Teams got back in by 0210am, lest for fair-wear-and-tear. Perhaps, been a B-to-A ShortRun, where papers joined up at the water-melon stop (mid-point), the Hare and her German co-hares did not see it necessary to have different types of papers as they themselves were manning the water-melon stop, and also to provide further run instructions to both the Long and Short Run hashers. A lot of ifs and buts were noted.
The gist of it were;
a. Lost hasher started the run 40 minutes (0510pm) late, but had to to do the long run as the bus for the ShortRub had already left.
b. Waited too late to make ‘back-track’ decision, and it got dark thus making it difficult in retracing hash papers in the dark.
c. When eventually realized he was lost, did not elect to stay-put on the last found papers, bur choose to wonder around looking for the right trail home. Thus making it difficult for the SearchTeams on ‘pincer-tracking’ actions to locate the lost member, causing a cat-and-mouse-chasing situation.
d. Perhaps it best to stick to the usage of two different types of papers for Long and Short runs respectively at all times.
By the time we packed up for the morning, Terry’s 4x4 vehicle battery decided to go flat on him. Now vehicle rescue effort by Carlo and Gary’s jump-start cable saved the morning after extended effort. After a hot cup of teh tarik by the Kerling trunk road junction, we headed home it was 0315am. Passing the Selayang ‘pasar borong’, which about to come alive for its early morning business, we got home at 0400am. Showered and hit the pillow by 0426am, morning phone rang at 0815am inquiring about last evening. Bastards… if this does not f—ed-up your weekend of hashing, then perhaps those lost & found could share some lights with yours truly.
It has been observed and taken in cognizance that that a couple of recalcitrant late- comer-hashers chose to do the complete run even when they are about 45minutes late, off the official 0430pm start of a run. On too many an occasion, they get lost and eventually get in home very late and in the dark. Thus causing undue worry and anxiety to the Hare and the Committee who are tasked to organised SAR efforts.
Hashing is a very informal and social able interactive outdoor running activity. We do apply some basic and simple guidelines to run each Chapter respectively. If members chose to abuse the privileges extended to them, and treat the Hash to their whims and fancies, and are non-repentant and indifference for the inconvenience they caused to others, perhaps these inconsiderate, self-centered, pompous & obnoxious members may wish to take their subscription somewhere else...
Run-site: Ulu Tamu, Batang Kali
Hare: Khoo Siah Kang plus Chine Connexion Vs 120+hounds
PH3 Chinese New Year [Year of the Rat] Run
Rehash by Don Chuckwow
What was advertised and promoted as the PH3 Chinese New Year (CNY) celebration run, saw an almost record crowd of over 120 hashers, both active and look-pretties; the latter had one or more stupendous and quite original excuses for non-starting.
The weather over at the run site was threatening with over-weight rain clouds hovering around, and my sunbeam friends were desperately trying to peep through. Blimey, we are just as bad as the British morning about the weather these days. As reported there was a heavy downpour back in the city, thus causing a large number of our hashers having to join the infamous Malaysia-boleh its-raining-go-ridiculously-cautiously-slow traffic crawl to Batang Kali. That pathetic excuse blaming the weather and traffic for being late to an appointment does not hold water these days.
The hash saw the return of Ron & Helen back from their 27th honeymoon, even Uncle Robin and Tiny Richie were there. Wanted to see for themselves what these Chines were up to, perhaps Silver Fox may recommend to his Aussie community how to up the Chines for their Aussie Day run. Noticeably absent were the Chins, the Sohs, Opera, and my heavily pregnant walking mate Stephanie and her overly anxious waiting-to-be-daddy Mike Moore. And we truly missed our Chine son Leong CK [Mr Bread-man]. As some of you may recall last week's pre-on on episode; Khoo SK [the hare] himself, had quite an experience when his Volvo 4WD Station-wagon decided to dig in, and almost got sucked into the river while driving a bit too close to the sandy river bank. Safe for the selfless efforts of PH3 members, namely Dave Settergren, GM Hugh Murray, the Hercus' and the unnamed few who helped salvage the vehicle and a pale green-faced Chinaman. Thanks to your tremendous efforts, we all are able to have a CNY run this week with the Hare.
The run site was by the road side leading to our famous Ulu Tamu Hot-springs run area. Its on a large abandoned plot of land-fill and elevated space, perfect for hash events and ample parking space. By 0430pm, less the GM, saw a relatively small crowd running off to the sound of ‘on on’, papers headed to the edge of our car park and down a steep incline down into the river. Lots were cursing and swearing that their clean & pretty shoes will get wet; irony of all ironies, unless you are JC, Moses and occasionally Don Chuck-Wow, who can walk on water and may command water to part, you will get your feet/shoes wet while crossing or walking in waters. Papers went up the embankment and into oil palms, winding up into a forest where the 1st check was. The GM himself was 30 min late, and was found wondering and hopelessly lost at this check. Called of ‘on on’ was by the stream up from the Indonesian workers’ quarters, then up on dry land momentarily before going into a shiggy creek that lead out into a pristine stream. Treading up ankle depth waters for half a kilometer, then up on the left bank into a fruit orchard and onto a tarmac elevated highway to nowhere. Back into the river and across for a back-check. Bastard, took us back into the river and a 1km upstream water treading walk. Out on the right bank and then a 2km mother-of-all-circular check, Donald was not amused and called out the hare’s relatives in names. The FROPs were caught out good and proper, whilst the stragglers had a field day catching up. Run continued right, up on rubber, last check was across a rubber divide valley for a back check to a 2km down-hill home run. Back across the river and up steep incline to our cars. First runner in was Jerry French at 0132hrs.
Awaiting runners in-bound were Khoo the Hare and his two lady-elves distributing CNY t-shirts. At a corner were these carnival-like colourful tents and a roast was in progress. Announcement was made that snacks and finger food were being served. We had Uncle Roelofs’Salmon sandwiches, fried chicken & spring rolls, Aunty Maya's Chili dips, Aunty Lillian's mandarins and Aunty Jenny's pot of stewed pig-ears. Saru was heard questioning whether the roast over at the fire pit was a pig or a lamb? Yes, we might have had a few roast pigs at the run-site of late, but to pacify and satisfy Paki Queen Nassar Rasool who has been screaming blue murder that she has not been served HALAL snacks at the run-site, we chose to have roast lamb. Knut the no-showmanship- Oktoberfest-run hare, was quoted ‘These Chinese are pretty generous and go-to-town on CNY celebration’. The hash multitude present had good helpings of finger-licking-good finger food, and washed down with ample amount of the golden hash nectar. Queen Nassar had had her quota of halal roast lamb for the year, we wishfully hope she will stop bitching about run-site snacks been offered by generous hares after this. To each his/her own, I know my friend Dan the Dadah-man calls out the Good Lord's name in vain when he is chewing into hot roast pork, and is he in heaven. Last runners got in at 0700pm, in Jothi Ram and John ‘hash shag II’Dodgson.
Hash Circle
As it got dark, slight rain began to fall after holding up for the entire evening. The GM called the circle at 0720pm, invited Don Cheang to give a welcome invite to PH3 CNY Run and further invitation to a Special CNY Dinner on on. Brilliant fireworks lit up the late evening sky, he then divided the multitude of Chines [those who look like, sounded like, smelt like Chinese] to his left and the Rest-of-the-World to his right. On behalf of the Chines gathered, he highlighted last week’s incident where our favourite Chinese son [Khoo the CNY Hare] was rescued by Qwai Loh hashers when he & his Volvo4WD slipped and almost headed towards the river. This is the espirit-de-corp in Hash where we will help/assist our fellow hasher when they are in dire need/ assistance. The Chines acknowledged the selfless rescue effort with 3 [Three] appreciative and respectful bows to these PH3 QwaiLoh hashers, in particular the Taipan GM Hugh Murray.
As the rain began to fall harder, there were a couple of charges made, but these were drowned out by the wetness of the night. As the circle drew to the end, announcement of the On On at Restaurant 218 at Serendah being made, TongkatAli AhWan lit 3 long strings of fire crackers, and more fire-works lit up the now darkened sky. Then the heaven let loose its torrent rain, to cleanse us mortals for a brilliant "New Year of the Rat”.
On On
At our usual Restaurant 218, passed Serendah town BHP station, 400m after the traffic light, turn right into eatry. Quite a sizeable crowd of full 9 tables graced the CNY On On, we even had Chinese elders Uncle Looi, Nah and Yogi attending. There were more CNY food-fare been served, with free flow of wines and whiskies.
The GM called up all the Chinese for a mother-of-all CNY down down, in return they[60 strong] sang the “GongXi,GongXi,GongXi Nee_______”to the house.
There were impromptu inter-table YamSeng screaming/drinking/shouting competitions, won hand down by Sharon DeSouza all-girls table [herbie not sighted, non-qualifier for team]. DonCheang called on all those hashers who were given CNY t-shirts but chose not to wear it to the CNY OnOn to be fine RM2 each. A good collection were received by co-opted Chine Emilia, the generous amount collected were given equally as tips to the over-worked and hashers-harassed waiters. In true French appreciation, Celine Estripeau came up close to Don’s ear to give him the now infamous-PH3 FrenchBlowJob, almost blew his ears out, so to speak. [girls, blow sweet nothing into his ears will be accepted/suffice]
It was an evening of joyous entertaining CNY OnOn. The Hare in all his appreciative gesture to his being rescue last week, and able to be very here this evening to set a run and sit on the same table with us for This CNY celebration OnOn decided that that he would “pau” the On On, and he received the ThankYou/TerimaKasih song.
What a great CNY Run evening, and thank you to all who were able to grace it. We will try to have a “little” celebration do on ChapGohMeh [15th Day of the CNY/ Chinese Virgins** Debutante] Run on the 23Feb2008 .
Note; ** all you aunties and born-again virgins ......... please spare us