Run: 1650
Hare : Chan Voon Seng
Co-Hare : Many Chinese
Venue : Serendah (opposite Antara Gapi)
Scribe : Greg Dall (missing)
Comic :Laurence Renshaw (roped in as substitute scribe)
The traffic via Rawang was only averagely bad for a change, so most people arrived roughly on time - even the GM!
The road to the run-site was terrible (even worse than last time we ran there), causing much consternation from hashers without monster trucks or off-road vehicles to drive, as the nether regions of our cars banged and scraped on the ground and probably eventually fell off to be lost in the enormous pot-holes.
Before the run, Tommy gave a speech about one of our members, Nick Mason, who sadly passed away on 15th October after a long illness, and a minute's silence wss observed.
The run started with a fairly easy check but soon got into shiggier territory, and there were a couple of points where the paper seemed to have disappeared, which only slowed the front-runners much but left some others confused for a while and calling out for directions. The 3rd check also took quite a while to solve, with some front runners complaining that 250 metres is a bit far, but the checks did an excellent job of keeping the pack together. Jerry French was back for his first real run after an ankle injury, giving a rare opportunity for other hashers to keep up with him or even overtake him on occasions!
The next one was an evil loop-check down and up a valley and to a hill-top, which gave the back-runners an opportunity to leap-frog the front-runners when they avoided the loop completely.
The fifth check was at the top of a steep 20-metre rock in the middle of a lunar landscape, or at least we assume it was at the top - nobody was keen (stupid) enough to climb up it, and the check was quickly solved at the side of the clearing.
After that, everyone was expecting a 'Rambo special' with at least 7 more km and some hard checks, so we were stunned to arrvie back at the run-site after just one more check. The front-runners were in before the 1 hour 30 minute mark, with the pack trailing not too far behind and not a single broken limb or lost virgin.
Noodles, snacks and cake were supplied (sorry - not sure by whom) to provide something for the beer to wash down, and were very well received.
Charles also made some cash by selling certain rubber items and other fetish gear from his hasherdabbery dungeon.
At the circle, the Indians and Sri Lankans were the first up for a charge of inventing Deepavali, and some of the hash was surprised to find that Aileen Doraisamy isn't Chinese and can actually speak Tamil. Those skin-whitening creams have a lot to answer for...
Then two Scandinavian toy-boys that Aileen D brought along from her harem were given down-downs for having very silly names (much easier if we just call them both 'Sven'), and all the hash ladies became very excited/moist at the sight of those tall young blond men. It seems that the more classical good looks of GM Dave Parks and JMs Tommy Chin / Don Cheang are no longer in vogue among ladies of a certain age...
Next it was the Australians' turn to take some abuse, partly for being crap at cricket, but mainly for just being Australian, which they didn't even have the decency to deny.
It's good to see that so many hash charges are still racially based, even in the 'new' Malaysia!
Your comic/scribe was also given a down-down for driving my car around in circles in a half-hearted attempt to go home before the circle, but I eventually escaped before the on-on, so am unfortunately unable to report on that exciting event.
Howerver, I can tell you that a pre-circle opinion poll judged the run to be very good, with a nice (?) mix of smelly shiggy, hills and dales, good running trails, tricky checks, scenic viewpoints, water features, spiky thorns and all-round fun. I believe the hard-working hare was forgiven for destroying all the normal cars that tried to reach the run site, and was awarded a t-shirt, I believe.
Run No: 1648
Hare: Rosita Scourse
Co-Hare: Rob Scourse
Venue: Ulu Yam Football Field
What can be said? To summarize the afternoon; a very wet drive there, an overly long and difficult run that was justifiably rewarded with a down-down and a good on-on. Altogether another thoroughly enjoyable day!
For those who chose the scenic drive starting on the canal called Jalan Kuching there was a late arrival at the run site. Fortunately the first check took an age to break so that the latecomers had an opportunity to catch up. As events unfolded every check to an age to break, which did keep the pack together at least at the start. However as fatigue and darkness arrived it became pretty well spread out.
The run started by crossing the river and turning left, so it immediately became apparent that it was an anti-clockwise course. The first check was in the palm (adjacent to the Lucky Like, our on-on venue) and after crossing the drive to the football field the second was by the elevated water tank (?). This check was also difficult to break, but then we set off south towards the Pendarra estate. The third check was up on the top of Mt. Everest and after being diverted by a falsie much time was spent finding the correct course. As always, the Hare swore that all the checks were legal, but I cant help but wonder. Here we transferred to a rubber estate and found ourselves, after 90 minute of running, at the abandoned mansion and riding stables.
By this time the front runners should have been home (2.5km away), but the trail took us even further in the opposite direction back into the palm oil. At least the next stop was a back check, but the FRBs pissed off quickly with the minimal of calling so that the pack had to break it again. This is becoming a racing club, not a Hash!
Anyway, the route then climbed up new logging tracks (not there last week during the recce.?) through ankle deep mud. Ugh! A back check here allowed some to catch up (after nearly 2 hours) and on approaching palm again most felt great, a nice run in home. But no, the hares in their wisdom took as down a near vertical piece of secondary that in the wet was virtually free-fall. This is how damage (broken elbows, etc.) is suffered. The shitty stream at the bottom was knee-deep mud in some places. I for one had skid marks and cuts to prove I did it! After a few hundred metres of hell we arrived at the estate road and a tired trot in to the run site.
The front runners apparently took 2-hours and the remainder struggled in over the next 30-45 minutes. Much too long surely there is not room for two Rambos in the PH3?
Eventually the circle was called in near darkness by Don Cheang. Down-downs were given to;
Paul and Nancy I dont know why.
Abraham and Candy (the long and short of it) for briefly being front runners
The Hares for providing great Sabahan makan at the run site thanks
Colin for thinking parking beers at WIP was something to do with free parking
Cindy Roe returnee
Kwan, Celine and one other for being Chinese and adulterating milk
Gail and Isaac joined the above
Petra on the phone in the circle (and trying to hide it)
Colin and Hugh admitting to erectile disfunction
The Comic (John D) dereliction of duty (short cutting instead of filling in checks)
Raymond for having vegetation growing out of his ass (US terminology).
And so to the On-On at the Lucky Like Restaurant where, after a great meal Huge orchestrated the proceedings. The program roughly followed;
Hares awarded with a down-down and would have been a toilet seat if Hugh had not installed it at home
A German for being a German
Gail - for wearing her 69 tee shirt upside down (as befits Australians). Nicely changed!
Paul and Nancy for being a sexy couple
Kojak - for leaving Lewies chair at the run-site.
12 guests a couple of who were asked for telephone numbers! An interesting observation by a baaaa
New Zealander. Why was Jesus not born in Australia? Because they couldnt muster a virgin and 3 wise men!
Les for racing Gay-boy on the run-in.
Paul How did Celine entice him into the shower? The mind boggles!
Gay-boy (2) for not inviting Gay-boy (1) to the opening of a new gay bar
Graham and Paul for being wimps but not providing sick notes.
Paul (and his physio.) for missing his 10.30 appointment.
Thats all I can remember. Thanks Hares for another memorable run!
Run site: Berenang Industrial Area, Seminyeh
Hare: Soo KanHoy
Co-hares: Charles 'Botak Boleh' Lee & John Dodgson
Vs Lai FooWeng & 93 Hounds plus plenty of kids and dogs
Hash Day
[ring...ring] ..hello tongkat, today is Uncle Soo's run aah!
no lah,there is the other Soo lah, the girl aah with the botak Kwailoh boyfriend
are what
oooh, I thought Uncle Soo? Long time no see him on our run already eeeh. True
aah, rumour he got new young wife?
you lah, KPC, always want to talk non-sense one.
you hear aah, be careful when sucking Chinese milk one, watch out for produce with expired date one. Those after Merdeka,okay.
keesiow you lah, then you think the Aussie 'chocolate-bar' plenty safe aah!'
don't talk bad and non-sense about we Chinese women, we oversea Chines are
special one oooh.
I hear Don said, Indian milk produce okay what. True aah!
eeh, leave me out of your sensi-tits talk eer, I have no further comment.... (pause)..
ooooyoo Opera, that Chinese girl got huge scuba-diviing-lungs man.
[Opera singing].... milk bars are cheap tonight, cheaper than other nights.........
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The Run
1. Who dare says that Petaling HHH is not a family hash with our kids running all over the run site and leached dogs pulling to dash ahead at 'on call' start. The Committee have since received threatening letter from irritated parent who accused the GM of marginalising her kids and dogs hanging around Ramli's beer wagon after the run and during the hash circle. What can you comment on highly principle people.... as long as the principles agree with their. We rest our case. On this auspicious evening, post Salam Adilfitri weekend saw a huge crowd of members and guests assembled at the road end turning off to a quiet housing area at the edge of rubber/oil palm estate.
2. Dr Jagit who have just return from a Caribbean vacation (27th honeymoon with no.1 wife) was seen sporting a new Chine guest with a very Greek name of Docus, or something to that effect. PH3have documented account of our members' hashing inflicted legs injuries that had seek treatment by this orthopedic surgeon, have greatly contributed to his vacation ventures. Early customer being Rambo Chan, who now wants royalty for recommending PH3 members to Jagit's clinic.
3. By 0428pm, the multitude gathered and awaited the GrandMessiah sermon as to whom among the crowd who have not hash before? Not surprising quite a number of PH3 members shot up their guilty hands. At that sound of On On! the great rush was off towards a single file opening into rubbers and onto some bushes and shiggies, and then to oil palm plantation. This run area had about the better kept and clear of undergrowth oil palm estate, with need trails and estates roads intertwining the area. Won't say this is a virgin territory, as PH3 have not been using this run area for a good many years now. The last time we were here was when Uncle Soo was a younger buckling stud then; a couple of decades back as we may have recalled. But this run area is the scenic Lake District of Seminyeh, with needily planted oil palm lining its shores. FROPs to passed the Lake were Mike & Mike at 0112hrs. But of course Bob-the-Builder and Azman Taufik had to do a short cut across the the Lake via a narrow muddy bund, wallah! they were angle deep in filthy & slimmy mud puddles. Majority of the pack passing the Lake view had these satisfying grin on their faces, taken in by the tranquility and beauty of the Lake area. Thank you hare for re-discovering this run area.
4. First runner in at 0122hrs with the main pack back within 25 minutes. There were festivities in the air, The hare Soo was busy cutting up the water melons, and a table spread of Ramli the beerman's HariRaya banana-cakes and cookies. Hashers were busy burying their faces with finger nibbling food after hydrating themselves with 100Plus and the golden brew. Maya Hercus brought out her all-time-favourite 'sambal-belachan aubergene' and bread, which didn't get to see the light of day, at a turn of the head all the bread were gone. Uncle Soo and Rambo had to spread the belachan-aubergene on sweet banana cakes in its place. Of course our infamous PH3 'run-to-1st-check-and-back' groupies returning early to the beer wagon to stuffed their faces with free finger food, uttering in between breathe: eee.. so little food only aah.... oooi, leave some bread for me aah... Maya, your belachan terong so very nice. Next time bring more bread lah... A bewildered kwaiphor guest was heard commenting ..bloody disgraceful and uncouthly these hashers, surrounding the food table with their sweaty bodies.. But that's what fun and beauty about PH3, everyone having a great time; let it be running, drinking, eating and stuffing their faces, bitching, KPCing etc on this hash evening. Our post-run motto... who ever bring or offer free finger food.. we offer our MOUTH.
5. All in all, a great weekend evening with a great run and loads of laughters & fun. HariRaya goodies thrown in by the Hare, Ramli the beerman, Maya Hercus...... a very BIG thank you.
6. Unable to scribe on the hash circle and the ON ON, as I had to leave early for a ThaiMassage treatment to a self-abused lower lumbar compression recurrence. Not unlike a hard-on on spying Geannie showering after the run. And we also miss Alyvia and PeiLynn.