Barry's farewell run
Hare: Barry Sage
Co-hare: Tan Soon Hui
Venue: Serendah Waterfall
Good turn up of close to a hundred hashers despite a zap away to Vientiane. On this day, Rat Shag and his lovely Geishas were back after longish silence. Reminiscence of sexy bath scenes got the weather wet in sizzling anticipation. Those rich buggers who went SHOT did not know what they missed. Hot blooded lauhiaos, old sexists Rob, Dan, his truly, Don, plus many young Chinese supporters with grand peeper King on the lead, were seen hanging on to their wet shower rods after the run. Can we help them, no, we can’t, only A geisha can lah.
The first check which may well have been the second check, had a long falsie track up a hill for a distance longer than the Rule of 100 meters. On the hind side, the sheepish pack were up this hill waiting with Candy doing a 30 minute deep meditation together with a pack of followers. The rest, including Michael’s dobbies, bashed on passionately with no trace of giving up. FROPs Laurence and Alex Yoong (who used to run with us ever since he was 10 years old) whisked by, making circles around me running and checking like headless turkeys. Another 10 more minutes, we still could not break the check. No one turned back from up the same hill because Candy, now, with traces of steam rising from her head was empowering the frat with Dalai Lama energy. The hash spirit ran high checking a radius spanning 1km. Finally, voila. After a whopping 50 minutes, all in all on this one and only f-up check, Alex broke it. According to Barry, a heap of bamboos which concealed the continuing trail was not there when he laid paper. What likely happened was a case of wanton indulgence by the hare and co-hare which accidently fell all the bamboos around them. The best way to set a run is to enjoy doing it, right, Barry?
The run took to jungle paths, plenty foliage, cut across several pristine streams, more checks, scenic views of layers of hilltops below, farm lands and cut across a huge open red clay soil area led in by Kwan ‘silence of the lamb’ to a 1km long home trail. Nice water sounds all the way.
My take is, fabulous run if not for the f-up at the first falsie and check. As regards to the circle, I can’t believe I forgot to be there. Me thinks it is quite natural to NOT think circle especially when it was off the car park by roughly 567 miles (?).
The ON ON had 7/8 full tables at the 218 where food, awesome, for 12 ringgit only lah. On down to returnee Ex-GM Terry, ‘man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day long’. Charges by GM Dave, Don and Graham lent much fun as always. Barry was sung the infamous song, “F off, you c_ _ _!”. The run, rated Toilet Seat plus 10 weeker. On this note, you haven’t seen the last of Barry yet and if he returns late, Soon Hui may spank him with his favorite bamboo. ON ON
Run-site: Back of Tuah Mee Estate (Bandar Tasek Puteri)
Hare: Chai Leng vs Yoong NimChee plus 87 hounds
Co-Hare: Riddled Runner
Scribe: Looi SC / Don Cheang
Rehash
“Hey that’s DanDadahman over there on his bike, look lost in Bandar Tasek Puteri.”
“Bloody Don, you gave me direction way to TuahMee Estate via Kuala Selangor Road.”
“Sorry my friend Raymond, didn’t know we were approaching from the ‘belakang’ way of Bandar Tasek Puteri. Shit bloody hell, I gave Uncle Looi the same direction, sure get hell from him next week.”
“Ooey, big crowd today, many guests due to school holiday break and Mother’s 70th anniversary Run tomorrow at Selayang Quarry.”
“Hope they don’t run into the Junior Hash at LaGong.”
“Hello David Wee, why were you driving towards Bukit Beruntung.”
“My navigator was a bit short sight, and I was dreaming about the Thai massage after the run.”
“Maybe navigator ada salah, can’t see above the dash board.”
“Jagjit, that small Chink lady want to slap you already, and you want to antagonize another small lady.”
“Mind your own business, always blame us women when you men are lost.”
“Baiie. Don’t get tangle with small-size Chinese women, I tell you.”
“Hey the GM Dave Parks is early today. First lady Charlotte is unable to hold onto their dog, eager to dash off after weeks of no hashing.”
“Anyone seen Emillia or the OnSec”
“Think she is off to DownUnder for her quarterly sex supply run. The OnSec is on her 26th horny-moon oversea with her new beau.”
‘Shut up you Isaac, or I’ll sit on your face. Mind your own business, why you can bring Aussie Sheila to KL so you talk a lot lah.”
“Daaye! Mountain come to Issac what.”
“Why is Ah Wan not the co-hare today? I hear Silverfox Robin is the new sucker.”
“Tongkat Ali has divorced his no.1 ‘sway yee’.”
“Think he is not fair enough, and don’t speak with marble in the mouth.”
“Uncle Don, if you’re walking today, can SiowLoong (Little Ben) come along with his mama piggy-back him?”
“Elsa, you follow mummy, and we’ll tack along with Uncle Don on his short cut. Aunty MaeYew can come with us too.”
“Quick, quick the GM is about to start the run, already yes 0430pm what.”
“Hah! young lady that’s a pair of new shoes. You‘ll need to drink out of it after the run. There are 3 river crossings and lots of holy shits on the run too.”
“My uncle lah, bluffed me that hashing is very good and plenty of fresh air and forest. But there is only oil palms and cow shits here.”
“..and there is Uncle Rambo too…”
“Su, Saru and Clancie. You all look lost. Want to short cut ahh, just follow paper down the slope, you’ll find the rest of the hashers.”
“Has anyone seen my pregnant friend Sharon and Governess PeiLynn? What has happened to AlyviaHor? After-run-bath-show very boring lately, one no come, all no come”
“Dan, you still don’t believe in self-preservation after the last bashing.”
“Uncle Don, why are they running in circle and, up and down the estate, we stayed on the nice track and find papers all the time.”
“This Mike Gayboy, Vege Laurence and Choo NaiKong very kiasu one, racing like headless chicken all the time. Huey Dekker and Colin Hercus same, same one.”
“Where is the Chink connexion taipan Volvo Khoo?”
“Took his family on a Taiwan holiday what, and LimCL went back to his wife for HariRayaHaji to clean out his ears of sperm.”
“Opera, who is that new girl you just helped up the hill? Always changing model one.”
“Aiyahh! Why you so kaypoochee, that’s is his neighbour’s spouse lah.”
“Elsa, can you give mummy a push up the hill? .. and also SiowLoong’s mama.”
“Why are the papers going into the bush?”
“Must be a check coming up, wait here I’ll check it out. After one hour the FROPs have just caught up with us, hah hah!”
“Why is Uncle Rambo going up the wrong hill again?”
“Elsa, we are home, the cars are around the corner. See, follow Uncle Don gets us back in 0120hrs.”
“Won’t be going to the On On, have a hot date I met on the same Komuter Train. Can’t let this opportunity pass.”
“Shit-house on fire, Dan the Dadahman is in LOVE again. It’s a 10-year cycle, not unlike the 11years-Sunspot cycle. Tonight is the NIGHT!!!