Run no: 1663
Dated: 24 Jan 2009
Run-site: Bandar Tasik Puteri - (behind of Tuah Mee Estate)
Hare: Robin ‘SilverFox’ C..Ox
Co hare: Jimmy ‘Dog-shit’ Leggett
Vs
Auntie Helen ‘Mighty-tits’ & 25xChinks plus 23 udders
1.It’s the weekend before the Chinese New Year [Year of the
Earth Ox], and Robin ‘SilverFox’ was very gracious and obliging to stepped it as a volunteer hare on this auspicious evening. Oriental culture have it that that two evenings before the CNY, its an evening of reunion dinner within the family for the ‘in-laws’ (wife’s side), as the Chink male-genders’ families have the eve of CNY for the reunion dinner. It was with great revelation to see so many Chinese [with no in-laws’ obligation] hashers at the start of the run this evening at the far end of Taman Tasik Puteri, on Batu Arang – Rawang Road. Uncle Ron brought along his neighbours’ wives in Clitoric the Sabahan and Pilipino Maria. Even Pang brought his long lost Sino-Japs uncle and his two children for this run, the old gentleman was sporting a Ninja-type air-filter mask during the run. Did anybody smelt holy bull shit or dog-shit [not you Jimmy] during the run? I thought the air out here was pretty fresh and unpolluted. Most hashers didn’t have problem finding the run-site, as we were here about 6 weeks ago, however retracing to the main road on the way out after the run was another story, tell that to CP Ti and Geoff Robb,
2.By 0426pm, JM don called on the multitude gathered for a quick briefing for the guests, and Emilia herewith confirmed that she have squeezed the guest-fee from them. Paper chased led us to the oil palms and veered left on an clockwise venture.
[..DaVinnci said.. the direction of clockwise or anti-clockwise is only a prospective, as view from the top-down or vice versa].
3.Check 1 was down this valley, with bits of shiggy. Dan the Dadahman was hand-holding his ..niu..found-love, half dragging her to catch up with the pack. Helen Peters the ‘lost’ returnee at last week’s CNY SauKung Run can vouched that these two love-sick kiddos couldn’t keep their hands and lips from each other through out the run, hence causing her to be distracted and strayed off papers. Uncle Ron and Guinness Khoo decided they will venture to the right and do their own walk. As always Auntie Helen wanted an easy way out, and opt to follow Uncle Don, auntie Jothi appeared to tagged along as well. We kept along the ridge whilst the pack of hashers could be heard in the valley and along the lower terraces of oil palms to our left. Bummed into Patrick Russell and Commodore & Sergeant looking hopelessly lost; we climb to the top of the ridge and hola! we hit papers and met up with the FROPs running around like headless chickens. Calls were heard headed down to the flats towards Kuala Selangor-Ijok Road, then running around the estate manager’s bungalow strategically located on top of a hill. We, of course, were observing the whole proceedings from the top of the ridge.
4.We crossed into young oil palms, descended into the valley and met up the FROPS again chasing papers, so they said, for home. As always Laurence ‘Vegemite’ and Mike ‘Gay-boy” Clarke were racing each other in, with Nick Bloyd not too far behind. Frops got in just over an hour, and the rest within the next 30 minutes.
5.But where is Emilia? Oh! She was no starter, claimed that she is still recovering from soreness and sheer exhaustion from those wild and kinky sexploitation with her Aussie boyfriend Down Under. Last in was our Ninja masked Sino-Japs uncle with plenty of daylight in hand. A discerning group of beer chasers were gathered around the hare’s car, CNY spirited Chink Opera volunteered with running the bar with supplies of beer from Ramli’s wagon. It was a harmonious and beautiful evening. We didn’t even noticed/observed the partial Eclipse of the Sun that occurred this very evening over the run-site in the Klang Valley, all because our celop-astrologer Dan the Dadahman was too occupied with his found love to remind us to look up to the heavenly sky. They couldn’t wait to bathe each other, and then rushed home to continue their wild quickies. At last week’s On On, Tongkat Ali AhWan announced that all PH3 members are invited to his wedding reception dinner… however he has yet to ascertain whom his would-be bride… or maybe in cohort with Dan’s pending announcement.
Circle
a. The butt of the evening was non other than the Aussie /Swede/French sheila Gail Thurkle; as the botanical rapist of endangered plants, blind to ‘approaching’ Paul Hash-shag, and not responding to Gerry M’s advances, plus a couple of other charges for just being Gail.
b. The circle honoured three kwailohs all dressed in last week’s red CNY outfit, and looking appropriate for the occasion, other than being chink; in Geff, Dave ‘Heart-breaker’ and guest Russell. Perhaps some Yorkshire man may take lesson in appreciative of Oriental gift during this CNY festive season.
c. SilverFox for being a stepped-in volunteer hare to allow us this gracious evening.
On On
At our favourite Chin Hiong Restaurant, up on-the-left-slope towards Rawang. Three full tables [12pax each] were in for a great feast on the eve of the eve to Chinese ..Niu.. Year. Food were served and devoured so fast, that in all honesty could somebody tell me what we had. I remembered scrapping out the last of the kwailoh egg ‘fu yoong’ from the plates. Ahh! we have CNY ‘loh sang’ prosperity dish to lift our fortune to greater heights.
The run was judged a T-shirt Run and the hare was duly honoured.
Uncle Ron neighbours’ wives did a superb t-shirt-changing-ritual [donated by JM Tommy]. Were they well endowed; the Clit lady from Sabah can muffled your truly anytime. Our lady Penny from Bukit Gasing Hash was extremely prudish.
Up on the chair were Aussie Gerry, Celop-chink Dave and Chink WingSan for unshamelessly drooling at the Clit lady’s lungs. Last but not least, Gerry was picking on Gail again.
What a pleasant evening to usher in the coming Year of the Ox, and thank you again Robin SilverFox for providing the Stage.
Dated: 29 Jan 2009
Scribe Report
Celebration run: 'CNY Saukung Run'
Hare: Alyvia Hor
Co-Hares: Chinese Connection
Scribe: Dorian 'Kojak' Landers
Venue: Ulu Tamu
Another year, another hare, same co-hares, same spot.
With the sly Rat leaving the scene to the hard working Ox, the world is waiting to see how the steady beast will take us out of the economic morass the Pig and the Rat dug out.
Well, we came to the run site to “stop work”, “CNY Saukung Run”- clever name for a run. I almost felt like staying in the car and ordering beer service! But it was not to be and the descendents of the Dragon emperor had clearly ordered for us to sweat profusely before indulging in cholesterol laden delicacies such as roast pork (provided by honey hash babe “babeloo”) and delicious fried noodles. The hares made sure that all fitness levels were dealt with and provided two runs for the cult to sweat out their sins. Ever so cunning, they laid the long run with short paper and the short run with long strips of paper! Those not initiated to the intricacies of Chinese torture or plain English writing fell for the ploy and we saw several mongrels back tracking to change their option.
Run started promptly at 4:30pm with a quick dip in the river to cleanse the pack of mongrels and bitches of their misdeeds, bugs and other vices before ascending, zig zag style through secondary jungle and scruffy rubber trees. A couple of Rambo styles checks held the FROPs for a while and yours truly had the satisfying pleasure of breaking the 3rd check. The 4th check was after a wily and long uphill climb through old rubber terraces. There, the ever inspired – and utterly naďve - Lawrence swore that this was going to be the middle point of the run and that ‘’as indicated on the website” the trail would split into short and long there and then. Hence, he decreed that the trail was to be found in the direction of home. Since when does anyone believe to the letter what hares or hash websites say? True enough, paper was found 180 degrees from the home direction, across a deep gully. Well done Lawrence ! I hope BN did not hire you to predict the result of the KT by-elections!
Anyway, I was made to penance at the 5th check and ended up totally in the wrong direction across a river, resulting in being way back, and huffing and puffing the next hill with Choirmaster Yap of Lake Club hash fame. The rest of the run(s) was a pretty uneventful and slightly boring walk or trot mostly through scruffy secondary jungle and a wee bit of river. Then, we reached palm oil and the scent of home and fried noodles with lap cheong filled our nostrils. The last stretch was an inspired river walk which saw many cult members renewing their faith in the cool sungai waters and indulging in fully clothed dipping “a la Kelantan”. Short run was about 7.5 km; while the long one was about 11ish - I am told.
After the babeloo and noodle show, most of us fitted the new clothes given by the first concubine “Alyvia”. Our fearless Grand Mandarin - who was earlier seen humping the bonnet of a Nissan Murano to the despair of Empress Charlotte– called for the heavenly circle where unrepentant sinners were made to drink the magic cleansing potion. An evasive maneuver from Featherlite was countered by a group of brave mandarins who dragged her to the box after confiscating keys to her chariot. She was made to plea guilty for gangbanging with contractors in the morning of this holy hash day. Her ardent prosecutor, Aussie Beaver, was further remanded and chastised by master Yap for using the wrong English word in his rhetoric (banger vs bangee).
With a million stars shining on us, and a hundred firecrackers blasting, On On was called at Old Lucky Light. While some of us went home to digest our post run appetizers, others went for more chow at the restaurant and sanitized their brain and guts with the amber fluid to welcome the new lunar year. Gong Xi Fa Cai !