Venue: Bukit Lagong
Hare: Isacc
Scribe: John Lavelle
The run site was a colourful extravaganza; there were red shirts, yellow shirts and many other flavoured shirts. It was not evident which shirt designation was supporting the GM Dictator Sen as he yet again attempted futilely to hang on to the reigns of power. There is no doubt now that there are antagonistic rumblings, with even key generals like Nan and Emilia now beginning to dissociate themselves from the incumbent – they have been heard to say that they oppose any further bloodshed - it can now only be a matter of time before Sen is deposed as GM.
In a transparently obvious attempt to cause further animosity within the Hash ranks, there has been a clear manipulation of the receding hareline, to ensure the maximum of discomfort to the Hash masses from leeches, hills and long tarmac run in. Fortunately, this pathetic attempt at disruption was easily side-stepped by this week’s hare, Isaac, and his knowledgeable technical advisor, Abraham. (these two, despite all empirical evidence, must surely be related in some way – at least according to the Old Testament) – they skilfully carved out a 7-check T-Shirt run.
There were two birthdays – significantly not presided over by Kamikaze – obviously working hard to keep a low profile with his own birthday upcoming – hoping that we have all forgotten the malicious, sadistic way he has dealt with innocent birthday victims in the past. The combined ages of the two birthday boys: Choo Nai Kwong and Wolfgang was higher than the number of runners, but less than the number of leeches.
In the case of Wolfgang, he also attempted an inconsiderable charge against the hare for insufficient parang work on the trail – the hare responded with the comment that he set the run for hashers not for Panzer tanks – which finally raises the issue of whether Sen is in fact looking towards external mercenary troops in his feeble attempt to hold on to power……watch this space…..
Run Site: Bandar Technology Kajang
Hare: John Lavelle
Co-Hare: Choo-Choo
Scribe: Rob Stott (with additions by On-Sec and GM)
The run was not in the usual place for the Industrial Park but accessed from a turning earlier on the right. Parking was on the roadside on the roads leading to Taman Harmoni, close to the golf course. There were familiar faces missing due to the rival attraction of the Nash Hash in Klang, but what Klang taketh, Klang giveth back, so numbers were boosted by an influx from the American Navy courtesy of the USS Bonhomme Richard berthed in Klang. (how do the Americans know French?) There were six sailors (Commander John, Mike, Mike, Glen, Mike, and petite Jessica with the big hair – gender equality has reached the navy) and a couple of marines (Mario, soon to be renamed Man-Bag, and Will). There were also 3 Swedes (fast Stefan, Michael and Katrine) plus a Norwegian (Bjorn-Ole "Born Horny" Myklebust) who had only stopped drinking at breakfast time but still had a good run. We also had friendly faces returning, like Alyvia, now with a happy smiling face, Piers and Chwen who have realized they cannot afford to skip hash after committing to do that crazy Hash Challenge on May 1st (however, Chwen has to try harder for he was so tired after the run that he had to take a nap in his car after OnOn at Zuan Kee!!).
Emilia had arranged a few hashers to give lifts from KLCC for the ship-mates, so they all arrived very early (Emilia’s contingency planning), which gave Mario and Will time for a can or two of Anchor Strong (good choice!) before the run. Luckily they were wearing camel-baks (more on that later) to re-hydrate during the run.
For almost the last time (AGM delayed again), Sen led the pack away down the factory road to where the trail splits, right across the shitty river to the moonscape or left into the bush. Left it was, and into overgrown scrub, and then halfway up a hill to a check. Commander John (who had hashed before) pulled rank and sniffed it out to the left (Navy 1, Marines 0) and called OnOn before running on to find the next check. Here he was tricked by a nearby falsie on down the hill, and was so disappointed at our dishonest ways that he stuck with the main pack for the rest of the run. One of the marines (Mario?) solved it down to the right (1-all) and the pack strung out with some good running down a wide track and then left to a check near a small stream/ditch down in a flat area. This one took a while to solve, until a wise old hasher remembered which way to go and the marines ran up to solve it (Marines 2, Navy 1).
We got into the oil palm and reached the road leading to Sungei Tankas. Here was a check which had the pack guessing. Right to Sungei Tankas and a run back via the golf course would be a long run. Eventually the check was broken almost back the way we came and into familiar territory where we have run from the other site. We approached the big hill but the paper was skirting around the side to a check. Colin Hercus bit the bullet and checked up the hill to be rewarded with finding paper – up, up and more up. On to another check in what used to be an open area with the young bucks (including Mike and Glen the young naval officers) having overtaken the old farts to find the check. Abraham checked back, joined by Soh Kam Eng. After checking there for 5 minutes I returned and found another track to check, which Richard Moss usually uses into this area. Amazing that after all this time none of the FROP’s had looked there. Paper was found and we continued climbing in the direction of home. More familiar territory as we approached the area of the old run site and then turn for home, over more moonscape and then the road home. FRLOP’s were Ajar and Carafino (she is back at her element), but hung-over Born-Horny wasn’t far behind.
As we got to the beer wagon the Gods must have been angry, for with a big flash the heavens opened and we were treated to shower strength rain for a good 30 minutes. We thought one of the sailors (one of the many Mike's – the one who never takes his headphones off) was lost after the run, but he'd just followed the wrong back-runners, and also rescued a stray dog. Overall a good run in a restricted area that’s becoming more restricted year by year.
At the circle, there were a lot of 'new shoes' charges, starting with Dave ‘heartbreaker’ Wilson for blinding us with his hideous new day-glo yellow monstrosities. Then one of the sailor Mike’s drank out of the new shoes he’d put on after the run, and Mario decided he wanted to have a go despite wearing old shoes. Sen was indicted for running a banana republic, with all his delayed elections and attempts to change/ignore the constitution to suit himself, and his junta of finance ministers (Emila and Alyvia) were also called up by the revolutionary mob. The guests were invited to sing Village People’s ‘In the Navy’ and various Abba songs, but made little effort. The circle finished fairly quickly due to the threat of more rain, and most people made their way the short distance to the On On.
Here there was a very long time to wait for food (menu too complicated for the chef?), which gave time for more festivities. Of note (or at least remembered) the charges were:
- Mike (one of the tall sailors) dancing to all the hash songs (something we’ve never seen before), but not wearing a hash shirt, and being forced to wear Maria’s very very tight girly top (not sure what Maria was wearing at this time, but hopefully someone has a picture);
- Mario being named “Man-Bag” due to the camel-bak he takes everywhere, even keeping his purse in it;
- Glen trying to show off to all the hash girlies with his well-toned bod;
- Man-Bag getting even more excited (luckily Glen was there to restrain him – that’s why you always need two marines!);
- Will being named “Born Horny Jr”, after claiming that he can’t ever remember not being horny;
- The 3 Swedes singing Abba songs very badly.
After such a run and evening, there was only one option – John the hare was awarded a T-shirt for his efforts.