Run Report - Fish & Durian at Janda Baik Saturday 8th August
Being a stand in hare is a gift that keeps on giving! Not only do you discover that front runners are better at breaking checks than you gave them credit for (and I thought you couldn't ever go wrong by underestimating the intelligence of hashers), you then get to scribe the following week's run too!
I set off for a gentle stroll, being under doctor's orders to rest due to achilles tendenopathy (google it for details) I set off with the pack after a long drive to a delightful runsite. I followed whilst we were on concrete paths and steps, but after a short while, the trail headed left into the jungle. Thinking of my poor tendons, I followed Yogi who said that we could stay on the road. After 100m, we came to a T junction (which I later discovered was less than 200m from the runsite) where we turned left. After another 100m, we intercepted paper coming out of the jungle from the left. So, I assumed that I had walked 200m to shortcut a 100m jungle track; boy was I wrong. I had actually cut out about 5km of the run, which I later discovered was a good thing as I would not have liked that slippery slope (which required me to dig thorns out of the GM's arse, sorry arms, the next day.
So, there we were, a few fair maidens, thinking that we were well behind the pack when we met Gordon coming back down from a check, pointing out that there were no footprints heading up to said check. We could hear calling on our left ( which is more than I normally do on a hash!). We were mightily confused, but soon decided to give up on the run. We headed down a nice looking path, got to a tarmac road, but then found a big gate blocking the way. The intrepid threesome of Gordon, Peggy and myself then decided to head up some steep terracing when, lo and behold, we came across the two hares, looking very knackered and muttering about shortcutting bastards!
We ignored them and headed back up the path we had recently come down, only to see the pack ahead cutting across the open area where we had been so confused before. Meeting the GM and Tony, we gave them inside information on how to take a shortcut down our path (which they seemed very happy about after the run) whilst we headed back the way we had come and reached the runsite by 5.45.
Having had plenty of time to chat, I headed off for a shower, and then saw Tommy's truck arrive and the hash descend on it like flies on shit! It was the promised durian and fish. Some heroes took on the job of opening the durian, and all had their fill (well, what was left after Abraham had his fill!!!). I have to confess to 3 fish and 1 piece of durian, which were both delicious. There was a circle, but I can't remember any of that! Dave Wilson and daughter came in during the circle, and Ted and Roeloff at the end. Mike Aylward was still out there but having been seen by the others near to home, we stopped worrying about him and headed off to the restaurant in Janda Baik.
There were 6 tables plus kids, and the food was great and only RM180 per table.
Thanks again to Tommy and co-hare Graham for another great Petaling Hash Saturday.
Hare: Averlin Yap
Co-Hare: The Mulliss'
Venue: Furry Friends Farm, Bandar Seri Coalfields
Scribe: Charles Lee
The run directions were OK and so getting to the new run site was easy enough, although the only Furry Friends I saw were dogs brought with us and I saw not a single piece of coal!
As our GM was the co-hare the attendees were called to order by Ron/Tonto, the JM, and the pack sauntered off at 4.30 pm for the reported 9 km run. It was obviously going to be an anti-clockwise, 'runners' run and being in a relatively flat oil palm plantation it was easy to short-cut. A significant proportion of the pack, including me, took advantage of this heaven-sent opportunity. Consequently, I can't comment on the quality of the checks, other than to say there was a crocodile of non-FRBs meandering around large sections of the estate.
Not surprisingly the front runners arrived back in just over an hour and most of the pack returned within 30 minutes or so later. The main casualty was Louise, with a bad knee problem - possibly she got tied up with her dogs' leads? Anyway, the flat course generated numerous comments about the number of hills to scale!
On returning, I found the Hare in my car and I swear she never stopped talking for an hour or so - clearly not exhausted after setting the run! In fact, we later learned during the circle that she hadn't set the run, nor had she done any recces! A dereliction of duty?
The circle was ably conducted by the JM who then called up Trixi and owner for defecating on the soft drinks (the dog, not the owner). But at least Trixi had hair - unlike another mutt that was paraded. At this point the 'Bestiality Run' was christened. Various charges followed including:
- Nan, for not knowing anything about erections - of umbrellas.
- 'Lucky' Thomas who doesn't have a shower but has 2 female assistants to wash him.
- Graham for losing his phone on the run - found by the JM who didn't answer his desperate call.
- Jimmy for being a jail bird (?) and Frank for having a terrible hair cut that he might have got in prison.
- 5 visitors/virgins/guests, who all claimed to have enjoyed the run.
- Don for emolliating himself trying to launch a hot air balloon.
Frank then took over and selected 4 ladies who were asked what colour condoms they prefer - pink and none being the favourites. It was then suggested that Kumran may need a hot air balloon!
Our GM then called me up for taking notes to help me write this scribe's report. A bit unfair but at least I got a beer.
The JM called on Azurina and Stefan for displaying 'intimate feelings' in public.